11 Answers

My husband works away a lot, weeks at a time, we have two children, both under school age, how do I keep up with everything! I feel like 100% of my time is dedication to children, house work and food prep. How can I find balance. Ive really wanted to study too but I cannot find free time as it is.

Posted anonymously, 20th April 2021

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  • This was my life when my kids were younger, my partner was away 3-5 weeks at a time. I had no balance. I look back on it now and wish i accepted mroe help, or put them in a daycare a few days. I felt too guilty at the time outsourcing childcare but now i think back and wish i did for my own mental health and goals.

  • Don’t say no to help and if someone offers to take them for a few hours let them.
    If you have family around see if they can take them regularly so you can get some study done and know you’ve got that specific time.
    Get the kids to do the chores/prep with you so when they’re napping or asleep you don’t have to do all the chores. Get them to hand you pegs or have them simply watch you do the washing depending on she.
    Give them a snack and prep while they eat. If they’re really little sit them in the highchair and sing/dance/narrate while you prep.
    If your partner gets time off when he’s back leave all the big organising and sorting etc for when he’s home.

  • I cam imagine how hard is this. Most of the time i get my me time when my kids sleeping. You may need child care help to continue the study.

  • Aw I remember that time. I simply couldn’t do a study beside this. Best way to survive is too find joy in the little.

  • My late husband always told me that as long as they all have clean clothes and food to eat, the rest will take care of itself. Don’t worry about anything but do make time for yourself even if you get someone to babysit while you have a break. Even if that break is meeting up with friends for a coffee for half an hour. Your worth it and, believe me, your family will benefit from it too.

  • Be kind to yourself. Let some things go. Make sure you make some ‘me time’ in every day. I imagine it would be very hard, but I hope you have some other support around you. And if money permits, consider a cleaner or some option to help you out.

  • It sounds very tough. Commit to doing perhaps half an hour a day just for you. Find some ‘me time’ when they are asleep for example.

  • The only way is to prioritise and get things done while they’re asleep. It sucks but if you get up early you could pick a couple of things you can’t do when the little ones are awake. You can also train your kids to play by themselves in the yard for short periods so you can get some housework done (while keeping an eye on them) and then dedicate at least an hour to them around lunchtime so you still have quality time. And I can’t stress enough the importance of nap times for pre-schoolers- my kids loved it/ needed it. And you can get more done for an hour or two.

  • That sounds tough, I hope you find some balance or help. With the housework, I try to plan it thoughout the week so I do a little everyday, but try not to let it affect other times so I have a break to do things with children or hopefully for myself. I hope you find a great way forward, it sounds like you’re a great mum to you children.

  • Hi You ask how do you keep up, you don’t. As my children have all left home and have their own I think, you know what doing all that housework to keep my house tidy was a waste of my children’s time and my effort.It isn’t really that important sure you need to be clean but a mess is nothing to worry about. A house is meant to be a home not a show piece so what if it looks lived in . Bet you it feels so much more homely than some one’s pristine house. Enjoy your kids as they grow to fast and take that bit of time out for yourself. Everyone will feel so much better for it.

  • Can’t help you with advice but wishing you all the best ..

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