12 Answers

I have two beautiful daughters who are constantly shown love from family, however my youngest daughter is petite, stunning and very charming. People are naturally drawn to her and my oldest daughter is often sidelined, even by her own friends since they want to carry around and play with her little sister.

My husband and I constantly reiterate the importance of them being themselves and how everyone is different, but sometimes my oldest does silly things and plays up to get the attention of others back on her, however I notice most of the time this actually makes her friends distance themselves more. She is a beautiful kid with a lovely personality, I just want her to be confident in herself and not care what others think/do. I have thought about putting her into a martial arts class, something for just her, but am certainly open to any advice from others.

I was always the kid growing up that did my own thing, had a big circle of friends and if someone didn’t want to be my friend I didn’t mind, and moved on, I would dearly love to help my oldest with this as I feel people will always be drawn to her sisters charisma.

Posted anonymously, 2nd February 2021

Want more real mum questions sent to you?

You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
Ask your question
  • Eldest one always wants more attention from others. My son did the same.He doesn’t want hear if some one talking good things about his sisters.But it was good to find her interest and make her involve to do it.

  • My boys were the same except the other way around. My eldest found it so easy to make friends but my youngest would mostly be alone. All we could do was encourage them just to be themselves and not let anything get them down. They are now both very intelligent people who have come a long way and I’m very proud of them both.

  • I think you’re doing a great job. But love the idea of finding something that will highlight your daughter’s strengths and for you to invest one-on-one time with that endeavour.

  • I agree with most suggestion made. Give her lots of positive praise, spend one on one with her (daddy and mummy dates), put her in an after school activity what she really likes and what builds her confidence. You’re doing great !

  • Maybe she might like to join a drama class. This will build her confidence and self esteem.

  • Just support her and tell her that everyone is different and you love her

  • Looks to me like you’re doing everything right and I’m sure both your daughters will grow into happy and confident women

  • Just be supportive and maybe spend more one-on-one time with just her. Take her shopping, get your nails and hair done together. Let her have the opportunity to find herself and her own style with shine through.
    Your doing great, be positive!!!

  • I was wondering if the child is one or if its their first birthday party because at one it would be hard if older easier.

  • She might need to talk to a psychologist to talk to as don’t let it carry on and maybe see about letting her join something she wants to on her own. Speak to your dr about what has been happening and see what they suggest to help her and don’t disguss it in front of the girls.

  • I wonder whether your eldest could have some time with her friends over when her younger sister isn’t there? It would give her a chance to build her connections and relationships without being overshadowed. Maybe younger sis could have some special time out with a grown up while big sis has a play date with her friends?

Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

What is your answer to that question?
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account

Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating