Bless, that must be hard.
Have you sought support ? There’s quite a bit out there
https://mymentalhealth.org.au/carer-and-family-support

Im sorry that this is an old poat and I hope things are better for you. If not though, I have some thoughts as a partner to someone with mental health and substance problems. Unfortunately, noone can answer that but you. There are good and bad sides to every relationship, but how the point that the bad outweighs the good is a very individual point. Just remember, no matter what you decide, make sure you do everything in a safe way. Have an exit strategy, reach out to DV and family support counselling and set boundaries x

I think the most important thing here is that you are getting the support you need yourself as well. Its a lot to deal with and you need to make sure you have ways of coping so that your own mental health doesn’t suffer too, especially when their are children involved.

The future is what you make of it. i know that it is and can be challenging (speaking from both sides of the fence) Have you spoken to him about how you can eleviate some of his paranoia? How does he feel safe etc. How you deal with him, speaks volumes. And think about if the roles where reversed. how would you like someone to help you? Good luck. I know it feels hard, but he is better off with you and your support x

I have been in a relationship with a mental health sufferer for over 30 years, we raised 2 kids. It has been really tough. Myself and my kids have seen and experienced things we shouldn’t have. I’m at the stage of thinking of leaving…..I just cannot do it anymore

One tip for helping to process and cope in difficult situations is to focus on now, just today. And work out how to cope with that. I often fall into the trap of worrying ‘what will things be like in the future .. if this … or if that …?’ I imagine things will carry on in a particular way, and invent all sorts of questions surrounding how I’ll cope, and unpleasant feelings too … but experience has shown me things change. My kids told me a quote from Kung Fu Panda “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That is why it is called present. ” .. and it has helped me stay focused. Instead of worry about my declining health, and will I be able to enjoy that anniversary, or will so-and-so understand the fatigue and pain etc. I just stop. it doesn’t hurt too much now. I can still move about okay. I’m tired but I can manage to do the next thing I have to etc. Perhaps focusing on ‘now’ will help you cope and even enjoy the moments you have today.

So sorry to hear about what you’re going through. Don’t feel like you have to go through all these challenges alone. I hope you have support people you can confide in. And hopefully find support groups that help.

I am the partner in my marriage that has the mental health problems. I have schizophrenia- amongst many other diagnosis’.
I was diagnosed at 17 which was 12 years before I met my husband.
My mum is my main carer when I have episodes as it’s taken me so long to build up trust with someone when I’m unwell.

I can’t commend my husband enough though for always supporting me when things are tough. However I find, especially in the beginning he sometimes got mad at me. This I think was due to his lack of knowledge of schizophrenia and being scared for me, that it sometimes came out as anger.

As for asking what life will be like? I have now been living with schizophrenia for 17 years over half my life. And I like to think I’ve been able to live a reasonably “normal” life and achieve the things that most people do.
I’m married, we have x2 beautiful daughters, we own a house, I work (at one stage I worked 2 jobs). Every few months the wheels fall off and I go into an episode and need intensive treatment. But I have an understanding employer who gives me all the time off that I need and a very supportive family who rally around to help us with our kids while I’m in hospital.

It’s a vast difference from when I was first diagnosed and my parents thought they would have to be my life long carers as I was too incapacitated. Or from when my doctor once wrote on my paperwork that they deemed I would likely end my life at my own hands in the next 5 years ???? those things hurt so much to remember.

I take pills for anxiety. I sometimes have an attack, and my hubby just calms me down by holding me and letting me cream or cry. I feel for you. I know it’s not easy. I suggest when something happens, just calmly hold his hand, or hug him, if he lets you. Then let him talk about whatever he wants and re-asssure him everything will be ok. But, please make sure he does take his medication and not just go off them (without docs advise).
In saying that, look after yourself too. Take time out for you. Take a walk, a drive, call someone, and let it out. You are allowed to have down days, and that is perfectly ok.
Can I suggest going to http://www.ruok.org.au – you might find some useful information.
Goodluck and take care

I really feel for you , for you both. Mental illness is bloody hard and can seem so unfair. You need support too. There are many other people experiencing what you are going through too and they will possibly be your best resource. Is there a group online that you could join? Someone mentioned a church group – if this appeals – it’s a great idea. Otherwise, what about a community/neighbourhood house? Your GP may have some suggestions too. You need some kindness for you and your kids. Your health & mental health are so important too.. Wishing you love and clarity.

My husband has been on antidepressants for the past 30+ years. Over the years when things started to get too overwhelming he would see a psychiatrist or psychologist depending on his issues, this was very helpful. We raised 2 beautiful girls and have lived a reasonably happy life, I can’t say it has always been smooth sailing but understanding that they have an illness even though you cannot see it. has helped. We have now been married for 34 years this year.

Have you sought counselling and support for yourself, independent of your partner? I think you need to. It sounds like you’re having a really tough time, and it’s a difficult situation.

I like your comment re church angel_chick !

Sounds like you need counselling too. Someone to provide a listening ear with no judgement. Only other suggestion I can make is join a church. There are lots of very supportive people there ready to listen, and it’s free.

I think you should talk to your gp and maybe look for some psychology’s session for just yourself for helping you to go through and answer your questions. Wishing you all the best