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My husband wants a 3rd child, I’m happy with our 2. Who gets the winning vote without making the other unhappy?


Posted anonymously, 28th November 2019


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  • Yes this is something you have to talk about with your husband, not one time but multiple times. It’s important you agree with each other and are fully on one line. This may take time and that’s ok


  • I don’t think there is a right answer, here. Lots of talking about reasons might help.


  • I think you just have to have a deep honest conversation and compromise, It’s a tough one.


  • I think you should first agree on the number of children you want. In principle both of you are correct. It’s good to have your children when you’re still relatively young so that you will not have the complications that come with childbirth in old age. However, having children too close together also has it’s drawback especially when the finances are low. My advice is a compromise. Agree to having a baby when some basic things are put in place e.g a certain amount of money in the bank, some basic household labour saving equipments etc.


  • If you have 3 think about the width of the back seat of your car. If you have three in car seats there is a very strong chance they not fit on your seat. Even in the older Commodores 3 seats are touching. In the late model cars a lot have narrower seats. If you have 2 in their seats and an older child that one is “squashed” in either in the middle or difficult to shut the car door. I know somebody who has a large size Toyota and when the eldest one grows a bit more the small gap on the back bench seat will definitely not be wide enough. Be prepared to buy a bigger car if you have a 3rd baby, probably a People Mover. Also be aware that some have more boot space than others.


  • maybe get to the financial aspect rather than the emotional aspect – can your current budget afford three children, can you home loan manage whilst on maternity leave etc – I think this really needs to be discussed and looked into before either party can really say yes or no – your husband might realise that right now it’s not just financially suitable to have a third child. Either way definitely crunch numbers even going as far forward as potential childcare fees, school fees etc – good luck with it all


  • It’s your body my dear.


  • You need to discuss with your partner, list the pros and cons, being careful to include the wear and tear on your body, the financial side, and all the practical things that this effects: the size of your car/s, the size of your house, insurances, grocery budget, school fees, etc. It is a very clinical way to look at it but if the practical impact is significant, it needs to be discussed first


  • Its a tough one and it does have to be a joint decision, however as you as the mum will be more greatly impacted you must be sure..


  • I hope you work out what you both want.


  • Oh such a good question, and one that’s difficult to answer. A lot would say it’s your body and mum does most of the work with a baby, so it’s up to you. I always thought this was unfair to the man. I honestly cannot say one way or the other


  • It has to be a decision made together, maybe list the pros and cons….try and take some of the emotion out of it and both explain reasons for abs against before saying a definite yes or no…it’s a tough one.


  • It has to be a joint, unanimous decision. You should have to “give in” an have another, and it goes both ways if your husband wasn’t keen on a third.


  • It’s got to be a together decision, you are all in or all not.


  • the one who has to carry and birth and generally speaking give up their daily life for the new edition…


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