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19 Answers

I have my inlaws staying and I am a very patient person, however I am sick and tired of the demands they put on me. for example yesterday I was asked “where is all my washing I put it in the laundry 2 days ago and have had nothing back” I politely said I had been so busy and was going to do the washing and ironing today. I did do it – but am I being too sensitive as I felt this was extremely rude and I felt like saying do it yourself! Does any one else have the same problems and how do you remain calm and polite through out the week?


Posted anonymously, 5th April 2016


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  • I think they are being rude expecting you to do their laundry, and I don’t think you are being too sensitive. If they are only staying a week, I would stay quiet. If they are staying longer, or stay with you regularly, I would politely tell them that they are visiting family, not staying at a resort, and that if they have laundry that needs to be done, they are welcome to use the washing machine, dryer/pegs etc.


  • It seems to me like this “washing” incident isn’t enough to make someone mad enough to pop it up online. My bet is that they are rude on other occasions too. Which is why you seem to be upset. I completely understand! It is your home, no one should be able to make you feel inadequate in your own home.
    My husband and I are in agreement that whoever’s family it is, is the person that needs to stand up to them and tell them how it is. We protect and respect each other’s wishes which we reflect when we speak to our family. If the inlaw’s want their washing done, they do it themselves. Otherwise, in my home, they shut their mouth and wait for me to get around to it. Not that I would ever do my MIL’s washing, not after the years of blunt rudeness that I have copped from her. So I salute your tolerance! Good Luck!


  • That can be a damper. Theres a lot of things I’ve had to be firm with.
    Like my in laws always say I have to cut my sons hair and it’s getting old.


  • I think it is extremely rude. I would have said, “Oh, sorry I didn’t realise you didn’t know how to use my machine, here I’ll show you.” You have the choice of biting your tongue till they are gone or saying something.. which one is easiest to live with for you?


  • We have a saying in our house – family is like fish, they go off in 3 days. I’d be limiting stays to no more than 3 days if possible! I would also bring up these issues with your husband to get his perspective. Perhaps his family wash every item they wear each day. If that’s the case, it’s unreasonable to expect you to do the same for them if that’s not what happens in your house. Perhaps he could flag with them to bring more clothes so they aren’t reliant on you washing everything!


  • You are very kind to do their laundry. That’s not usual. The line ‘in our house…’ Will be your friend. I.e in our house laundry only gets done weekly


  • I do not invite them HA


  • Good guests, family or friends should get in and help out.


  • I don’t think you were being too sensative. They should be more greatful. In laws unfortunately are a species of their own. Some are fantastic and some are extremely hard to get along with. Good luck and wish you the best!


  • Give any guests, family or friends the rules of the house. Guests should help, it is basic manners. I would direct them to the laundry and products and let them go to it! A home is not a hotel, if they think it is maybe charge a laundry fee! ;)


  • This is rude. I would be tempted to say “it’s not my washing day yet”, but you might need to be sure your husband would support this approach.


  • I’m so lucky, my in-laws live in England but when they do come they are terrific, always helping and give me a real break with the kids, never judging and they love my kids as much as I do. Even though they stay a month it goes way too fast :)


  • When in-laws and visitors come to stay I make it quite clear.
    I show them where there room is tell them they can help themselves to tea and coffee and the kitchen. Show them the laundry and I have a hamper in the guest room just so they do not use mine. Making dinner is a family affair and we discuss the meal plan and I ask for help cooking and setting the table and washing up etc. It’s not hard just ask for the help.


  • It’s just one of those things you have to put up with, hopefully they won’t stay forever and it will be appreciated by your other half


  • I am sorry but putting there washing in your washing basket is very rude . I. Would be saying to mum .
    You are more than welcome to use my home as your own including the washing machine . Wow I thought you the new daughter not the maid .
    No no no you need to stop this now. Right now .
    Before they start telling you how to raise your family .
    Oh and remember if that starts let them know there own child is not perfect so they made there mistakes now it’s your turn . You do not need any help off them.
    If my mother came she would do the washing and cleaning while I worked .. Omg you need to have a good chat to hubby . Or tell him him his parents washing needs doing .. If he does not want to do it ..make sure you tell him you do not want to do it either .. My mother in law told me my cooking was dry .wait casserole yes dry with hot fresh bread to slop up the juices . Anyway before I could a word hubby says sorry mum .
    Liz did her best but has been so busy. Maybe tomorrow you might like to cook and give us a night off help your self to freezer and pantry . I can leave money if you wish to shop ..


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