10 Answers

I need to tell my children that my mum, their grandmother has died. How do I tell them so they understand death?

Posted by grayza, 21st April 2015

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  • I agree with BellaB to be open and keep it simple.
    Our parents are still alive, so my kids didn’t have to deal with the death of their grandparents yet. But my sister dies when our eldest were little and I found it helped to
    Answer all questions.
    Give brief, simple answers.
    Express my own emotions.
    Avoid euphemisms.
    Be prepared for a variety of reactions.
    Expect the subject to come up repeatedly.
    Memorialize the loved one who died

  • You haven’t said how old your kids are, but we found that “Grandma has died. That means she’s gone away and can’t come back.” was a good start when ours were very little.

  • Firstly, what are their ages? The older they are, the more they’ll understand. There are also great books available to explain death to kids

  • A tiny star book by mem
    FOX is a great book about death for kids

  • I am sorry for your loss, it might be good for your kids to sit with you and put together a memroy book. Full of lovely memories and photos and of the good times they shared. So they never forget her and will remember all the good times by reading the stories they write with you. People do forget things as they get older this way thy never will.

  • no advice, im sorry for your loss. prayers for you. just have to be straight forward and honest, let them ask questions, maybe try the library for books?

  • I’m so sorry for your loss. Maybe look up stages of grief in kids. Be prepared for a range of emotions and accept them. Talk them through what they at feel. ‘It’s ok to feel sad, confused, it’s ok to miss her. Sometimes sadness feels like a heavy tummy or droopy body. Etc”
    Maybe also have some family time and talk about fond memories. Check in again with the kids after a week. Be prepared for questions to continue popping up. Be prepared for this to trigger your emotions too as you remember you mum! All the best to your family

  • i’m sorry, I do not have an answer but am following as I think I will need to be dealing with this soon. I have started to wonder how to explain it to a toddler…..

  • Im so sorry for your loss!
    I had to try explain to my son that his great nanna, great pop & grandfather had died all in the same year January, June & November 2011 he was almost 5. He was obviously more upset about his own grandfather but I just explained to him that he wasnt well and he was very sick and went to heaven, we took him to the funeral and then picked a star in the sky so he can talk to him anytime. Since then we have also lost My Dad in january 2014 so its been tough to explain it all but he is doing well.

  • I am so sorry for your loss. I am not sure how you do it. We just kept telling my little one that her great grandmother had died so she wouldn’t be around anymore. We took her to the funeral and burial so I am not sure if that helped. I am not sure that they understand when they are little.

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