18 Answers

My best friend and I were only 8 weeks apart in our pregnancies. Sadly her baby passed away having been born premature with other health issues – seeking any advice how I can support her though also understanding that seeing me may be difficult?

Posted anonymously, 20th December 2021

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  • Ask her what she needs. And give her that. Even if she needs space.

  • That’s a really hard thing for your friend to be going through. My friend who had losses said she prefers people to not avoid the topic and she prefers openly speaking about her babies.

  • I had 3 miscarriages myself.
    I think it’s important to reach out to her, but in the same time give her space if she wants this. When space is what she wants, then send a card / a bunch of flowers / a cooked meal / a text that you’re thinking of her

  • My condolences to your friend. My sister in law has 2 miscarriages in the first few months, and its quite traumatic. All you can do is be there for her. Offering your love and presence would be wonderful. Take her out, bring her some food. Continue to offer your comfort and friendship. Good luck!

  • Sorry for your friends loss, it would be so difficult for her. You are a good friend to be concerned. Let your friend know you are there for her. I have seen the heartache that one of my sisters suffered with her losses, just be there for them.

  • Tell her that honestly. Let her tell you that some days she’ll be okay with seeing you, and some days she won’t. Use her baby’s name. The absolute worst thing you can do is avoid her- believe me, I preferred people who were embarrassed or awkward but showed up to the people who just disappeared or who never mentioned my baby, as if he’d never existed.

  • I would see how it goes. You will definitely know if seeing you it’s difficult for her and it if is then I would give her time. Sometimes leaving people to recover with their families is better than trying to support. It just depends how your friend is.

  • Don’t avoid her – if anything that’ll make her feel worse and put a strain on the friendship.

  • Just be there for her….she is going through a huge range of emotion including being jealous of you…..reach out when you can but let her respond in her own time…..it isxalso very hard on you so don’t neglect your own mental health xxx sorry 4 your friends loss…

  • I’d follow her lead. Offer support and help however you can, but be gracious if she seems to not want to accept orders around you. Maybe spend time with her without baby if you can.

  • That’s a hard one. Some want support some want to be just left alone. I think she needs to know your are there for her, with whatever she needs.

  • Maybe you guys could go for a mini pamper session? Have a spa day and let her know that if she wants to talk then she can.
    Otherwise, just be there for her company wise and let her grieve in her own way.

  • I had the same happen with a friend. I needed her to give me space and be understanding when I couldn’t see her. I struggled with seeing her pregnant and complaining about effects of the pregnancy. Just be considerate with your words and ask her how she feels about things-never assume.

  • Maybe just let her know that she always can count on you and if she needs to talk you are more than happy to be there for her.

  • It’s a terrible time. Just be there for her. Take time to ask to go for walks or just get a coffee she will open up in time. Take her to a crystal shop too to buy a crystal that will make her feel happy.

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