32 Answers

Mum to three, married and working full time too. I am so exhausted in every aspect of life that sex is the last thing I think of, and quite frankly I could care less if I have it again.

My husband wants to know what’s wrong with me? I do love him, love our kids I am just over everything else. The last thing I want to do is be faking it to keep him happy.

Posted anonymously, 7th March 2022

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  • I am the same…I just don’t feel like having sex…a cuddle in bed means more for me.

  • Just to clarify my answer a little, I still do it to keep my partner happy and to maintain that closeness and intimacy.

  • Very normal in my opinion, I feel the exact same way….

  • It can be hard with so many things to take up your time and drain your energy.

  • I just worry for you if this will affect your relationship with your husband. If he can’t get his with you, he might go elsewhere… Maybe see a gp and see if your lack of interest is a symptom of something else?

  • This is very relatable. A lot of knew moms I am friends with are experiencing the same thing.

  • This is so normal, more than you could ever imagine. Do you get help? How can you take some pressure off yourself? perhaps if someone helped you out you might be more interested.

  • I’m on the other side of this issue and feel that forcing celibacy on your partner is cruel and unfair. There can always be excuses, but basically you are undervaluing your relationship and dismissing intimacy with your partner. If you are just wanting a ‘friend’ and not a husband and aren’t prepared to repair your relationship….which probably already has resentment within it, then you may as well divorce now. What is really important to you and how much are you willing to work for it ?

  • I totally get it. It is so hard when you are so exhausted. I have joked to my husband that he has a half hour to hour window when the kids go to bed to make any move or it’s not going to happen haha once I have stopped for the day im more excited to go to bed to sleep. I do find when I do make the effort and actually go with it we both feel good and brings us back to pre kid feels. It is important to talk with your partner about it as well, most times I find hubby is just as tired as me.

  • Yes. Sexuality is a diverse spectrum. You could be Demi sexual – needing a strong emotional connection, or asexual – not being very sexual at all, somewhere in between or something else entirely.
    There’s no shame in not having a high sex drive. If it’s something you want to increase, there are herbal supplements, aphrodisiac foods and help from doctors.
    Don’t be afraid to find a good sex therapist to talk to.
    As a side note, I think everyone over the age of consent should explore their own sexuality and identity to be happy. Knowing what you enjoy will make you a happier person. And don’t let anyone try to bully, guilt or blackmail you into doing anything you don’t want to do. No woman should have to fake an orgasm.

  • Totally relate to this. I’m now a working full time solo parent of 3 and tbh I cant imagine ever having the time or energy to spend on anyone else ever again!

  • I’m with you, I couldn’t care if I didn’t have sex again. My husband and I used to have sex everyday of the week, sometimes in the morning, sometimes at night, then it dropped down to a few days a week and now it might be a couple of times a month as I don’t care to have sex these days. We also now go to bed at different times and it just doesn’t seem a priority.

  • I’m with you. Just not interested. I think it’s fairly common, people just don’t like to admit it

  • I think this is very normal. I know I’ve thought the same thing and I used to really enjoy sex. I adore my husband and can’t imagine not being with him, but sleep wins at the moment for me.

  • Not abnormal at all. I am just always exhausted. And lay me down on a bed… and I just want to sleep! It needs an honest discussion. Maybe if hubby helps reduce your mental and physical household load, you might feel more inclined.

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