Hello!

21 Answers

I feel so tired and angry and lonely and depressed.
I feel so alone, I have no one in my life except my boyfriend and even he makes me feel alone sometimes. He yells at me for trying to have conversations about our/his daughter, I am a 22yr old stepmom to a 7yr old.
I don’t know what to do with myself.

 

Does anyone have any kind words for this Mumma?

 

If you or anyone you know is exoerincing depression please contact Lifeline 13 11 14

https://www.lifeline.org.au/

 


Posted by stepmom107932, 22nd December 2014


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  • You need to get out if there, even if it’s just for a few hours a day. See your GP for medical help. You have taken on a lot for one so young


  • Perhaps consider a counsellor or psychologist that can offer some suggestions and give you some advice. Take care xo


  • I hope you are doing okay now and l don’t believe your partner is treating you right,it sound’s like he may be the problem.


  • It is very understandable to feel isolated if you have no one who understand you and talk to . Being a step mum is not easy and if you are doing your best to look after his girl , well you deserve a pat on the back . It maybe hard, but you do need to talk to someone outside the home . Counting on your boyfriend solely wont help as he cant be there all the time . Could you join a support group of some kind, or do volunteering so that you feel good about yourself ? So many people need your help in our communities and this will give you a chance to see other peoples experience as well. Don’t be afraid to even ring a support line as opening up is the best relief anyone can feel. Hope you fid support soon .


  • I can feel your isolation just in that small piece of writing. Your partner by all accounts is contributing to that by treating you the way he does. There are lots of women’s organisations that can help, and it only takes that one brave phone call to get someone involved in your life to help map out a plan to get you on track. Perhaps a visit to a GP to address the very real here and now symptoms of depression and getting that under control, whilst seeking the necessary support/help might be useful. xxx


  • he sounds to have the problem it is true, go get counselling for support and guidance for you! You sound to be doing a good job with your step child too, communication is right thing to do. My son just married a lovely women with 3 children and I as Nanna Jean feel welcomed and to the kids talk and laugh so know you are doing it right with their support. So get support for you if he is not willing to try…….


  • just wanted to give you a big hug honey xx
    I hope by now you have spoken to someone about your feelings. keep yourself busy always helps.


  • she said that she was a step mum


  • Are there some girlfriends you can re-connect with and establish a relationship with a friend or two who can support you. Its not easy being a step mum to a 7yo when you are only 22 yourself. Is your boyfriend much older than you? You should be able to tell him how you are feeling and he should support you in feeling better. What about your own mum, sister, aunt, nanna? Is there someone you can turn too to company, support and advice? Don’t worry if its been awhile, try to reconnect because we all need someone. I really hope things improve for you, and if you are actually depressed, go to you GP and get help. You will need to help yourself to be able to improve things for yourself. Keep in touch with the moms on this site, its amazing how much support you can get from other women who all understand what its like to be a mum and sometimes feel a bit sad or lonely. Good luck and really try to help yourself.


  • Being yelled at by your boyfriend/father of your daughter is so abuse. I am wondering why you are still in this relationship. It is no wonder that you feel so tired and angry and lonely and depressed. You are alone, your boyfriend has you isolated, this is also part of spouse abuse. Domestic violence does not have to be physical; emotional, social, financial and verbal abuse is. By staying in this toxic relationship you are remaining powerless.
    Your daughter is learning that this is what a relationship is and so she will not know what is not acceptable when she is older. Relationship counseling will help you, even if he will not participate. You need to regain your life, you are only 22 years of age, and a parent to your seven year old, you have been a parent since age 17. You have given these years to this abusive man. By staying in this relationship you are enabling the abuse to continue.
    This has to stop!
    There are many agencies where you can get help, depending where you live. Otherwise make contact by phone, Lifeline, Center care, St Vincent de Paul Society.

    Ask yourself what is good and healthy about your relationship with this man? Is this the kind of relationship you would like your daughter to have when she grows up?
    Are you working or studying? Think about what you want from life and write it down, then make a list of what steps you need to take to achieve your goals. Only you can make the choices for yourself and your daughter. Her father can still be involved in her life but he does not have to be involved in your life unless he is prepared to work with you to change his behavior. I also suggest you consider seeing your doctor and address the depression issues.
    I wish you all the best in life!


  • I hope you are feeling much better. I Know how bad depression is first hand. But you mentioned some things thats causing your depression its good you can pin point. You should go to the gp and get a referral to a psychologist its a big step but this will help you get things in perspective. If you want to make a new friend or need people to talk to i have made a mothers group on facebook called Australian Mummas feel free to find us..


  • I would first of all go talk to my gp sounds like you are depressed and see where it takes you maybe a councillor will help, your very young to have the worries of step children its very hard I find it so overwhelming I have 2 step children and at times I just cant deal with them and im 42 yrs old it very hard.


  • I would say work on yourself and the rest will fall into place. If you must do so for your own sanity- walk away. You don’t deserve that abuse from the person who is meant to be on your side.


  • Hope you had a good Christmas! :)


  • There is a few possible situations. I know a family in similar circumstances so I am constantly observing the various situations occuring. All circumstances are different. You didn’t state the nature of the arguments thinking from different angles. Is the girl’s Mum in the background, having either no or some contact? What role if any do Grandparents have in the Dad or child’s life? Is the girl jealous of your relationship with her Dad? Is she complaining to her Dad about you and vice versa ? She could be “playing you” off against each other. Are the arguments about her general behaviour? There has to be ground rules and you have to agree on them. It is confusing for a child to have more than one set of rules. It must be very difficult starting out “mothering” a 7 y.o. child at 22 y.o. Does your boyfriend really love you or are you being used as a sustitiute Mum? How old is he?? I have witnessed that in a 2nd family situation.
    You definitely need to get out and about even if it is just walking during which time you may meet and have a friend, and company as a result reducing the loneliness which may decrease your depression.


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