I have health issues, one under investigation and if I do have it, I may end up unable to walk or use my hand (worst case). The other health issue is mental. All in all, my future looks like a huge struggle but I may just the focusing on the worst. When my partner and I met, I was fit, had a vigorous sex drive, I was outgoing and a little wild. Now I’m in pain 24/7, I have no sex drive whatsoever which is greatly affecting thing in terms of sexual connection. I have mentally stretched myself for my family, and had to give up study as I can’t do my chosen subject as it requires alot of hand work and sitting for prolonged amount of time. I’ve gotten fat, and because of that I snore. I have cystic acne, I may have clear skin for like 10 days of the year. I’m always caring about his feelings, I’d do anything for him, but I don’t feel I get the same back. I cry at night as I’m in pain and he doesn’t ask if I’m OK, or comforts me in any way. I can’t remember the last time he thanked me for anything or complimented me in any way. It’s been years since he’s just spontaneously grabbed me to cuddle. I just joked about one day being in a wheel chair and him pushing me around. His response back was: “You can push your damn self around!” And he wasn’t joking. I look at this man with love as much as I did when I first realised I loved him…. I feel he looks at me with the thought of what the f have I gotten myself stuck with. I really don’t think he loves me, not like I love him. I feel like I’m just an obligation to him. What should I do?
Posted anonymously, 12th October 2020