14 Answers

I suffer from anxiety and am so very scared about introducing my daughter to her baby sibling in a few weeks. My daughter is very clingy with me and can get rather rough (biting hitting scratching) if she doesn’t get her way (she is 2 will be three in September). I am worried that with a new child when will be very upset and may hurt me and the baby. She is generally a good little girl but the last few months a switch has been turned and its becoming rather overwhelming.

Posted anonymously, 25th April 2014

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  • Just saw this question is from 2014? How did you go and do you have any tips? My daughter is 20mths and I’m due in 2 wks. I’m sortof lucky though as she is obsessed with her dad! So he won’t be able to hold the baby in front of her :/

  • Get your daughter a doll to help prepare her for the transition, goodluck

  • I hope all went well

  • I felt the same before my second baby was born and I got good advice off a few other mothers. I included my daughter in purchasing things for her baby brother and asked her to help me choose a present for him. I also bought my DD (dear daughter DS=Dear son) a few gifts from her brother. We had a family member bring my DD to the hospital and sit her down right next to me on the bed without her baby brother there first. We then brought him in and it was feeding time (bottle fed) so we asked DD if she would like to feed her brother.
    We also bought her a baby doll with a pram and all the accessories before hand and played games with “her baby”…
    The first week was hard for us but I had good support from family and don’t be afraid to ask for help..

  • i think she is taking the anxiety when she sees you, just talk to her about how she will have a sibling and how she can help out

  • Explain to her this baby is hers too, and she needs to help mummy look after it. She might just surprise you

  • Your daughter may be scared of the unknown, in which case she’ll likely improve once she meets her sibling.

  • Jealousy is normal. We got our son a present from his new little sister so that it wasn’t all about her. It takes time once baby is home, but it’s about reassurance to your daughter that she is special and spending quality time alone with her too. It’s hard, and as a mum you do the best you can. We can all tell you not to be anxious, and give you advice, but at the end of the day do what feels right for you and trying to take all the advice on board may just increase your anxiety. Trust that you’re a good mum and enjoy your family.

  • to help her she will also need to feel special. We got our first child something special for when the baby arrived (he loves diggers so we got him a special model/toy digger) and then every day when he came to the hospital he got something little i.e colouring in book, a story book, matchbox car. Our son really suprised us with how he adapted to not being the centre of attention. I hope all goes well…

  • She and you will be fine :-)
    Its more about your anxiety, then how she will react, of course she will be jealous alittle and of course she is acting out, thats what kids do. When the baby comes it will be so exciting that your daughter will surprise you with how much she will want to help you. Youll do great!

  • Most families have more than one child Hun & it seems to work, I had 3. Let’s see what happens before you worry yourself too much. Could be not as your expecting, just take it day by day explain a bub is on the way & it’s very exciting. Good luck I think you’re anxiety is getting in the way for now sweetie

  • you have to make sure when the baby comes that you still spend special time with her with out the baby. they sleep a lot so it is easy to find time when the baby is sleeping then bring out some new paints or colouring books and say these are only for you not for the new baby and when you have finished put them away so she knows they are only for her. I also took my eldest out to our local cafe and we shared a slice of carrot cake and drink and it was our time without the baby interrupting. let her make some decisions too for the baby such as ask her infront of the baby shall we go to the park or do ………. although the baby does not understand she will feel she is still the boss and not being ruled by the baby and that her decisions count. good luck

  • It sounds as though your daughter is sensing that a big change is coming. I would try to prepare her for how her life will change after the baby is born. Definitely have some one on one time with her after the baby is born if you can and buy a gift from the baby to her when you introduce them to each other. You may need an extra pair of hands (and eyes) for a little while if her behaviour is so erratic. Good luck and congratulations!

  • Perhaps if you create a special, positive bond between the two before the birth it might help? Take her shopping and have her buy something special for the baby and you could buy her something special that the baby gives her when it’s born. Do the exchange on the day of birth and in the meantime try and give her a sense of importance by encouraging her to be a big sister and that she’ll need to help mummy lots with this and that etc.

    Otherwise don’t be afraid to ask people for help. Perhaps a child health nurse might be able to give you some tips as well? If you have friends and family close by ask them for help if things are becoming too overwhelming. Good luck, I’m sure everything will go well for you :)

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