27 Answers

Growing up I have always managed to make and maintain friendships easily. However, now I feel that I am always the one that have to make the effort to ask other mums with kids if they would like to have a play date etc. Is it me or do you always feel like that? I hope there is nothing wrong with me ???? or maybe it is because generally life is really busy and that people don’t have time to socialise? i have been thinking too much about this and want to see what are your experiences on this?

Posted anonymously, 18th February 2022

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  • I feel this too. I find it hard to make friends.

  • As a new mom, it’s hard to make the time – I want to do all these things but I haven’t found a solid balance with play dates and keeping ontop of house work and nap times and all that. I’m sure other new moms are similar

  • I think people are just busy with their families and lives. It’s hard enough trying to get housework and stuff done while looking after the kids.
    If you’re working as well then that’s more time out of your day.
    I find it hard and I only work three days but the other two are kids activities like dancing and swimming but I do try and make time for play dates with other kids as my kids love to socialise but don’t go to daycare so whenever I can I try and organise for them to do stuff with other kids.

  • I also struggle with this. Happy to have a sister that I get along with so well because she’s all I really need for a friend.

  • Not just you, I find it really hard to make friends or keep friendships. The few friends I have work and most have kids my eldest child’s age so have a bit more freedom. I thought when my eldest started school that would change because of pick up and drop offs but hardly anyone at his school waited around and the ones that did were in certain groups that made it feel like being back in high school.

  • Sounds like a lot of us are in the same boat. Years ago, when I began to work full time, I just didn’t have the time to catch up with friends, not as much time to have coffee and chats or visits. But than, I thought, it was always me reaching out for those visits, cuppas and chats. That stopped when I began fulltime work, oh well, I am happy with my life.

  • I feel like I could have written this myself – why is it so hard to make friends as we get older. I am not sure what the answer is to be honest as I am feeling the same. Every does have busy lives as mothers, as we know, but it makes it heart breaking when you feel like you’re the only one reaching out. Some times I think it comes down to finding the right friends – if you find the right ones then they should be reaching out the same amount right?!

  • I know what you are saying. I think its harder when kids are younger as life if busy (or was for me working full time, kids sports , play dates etc) and shift working partner but now that my kids are older I think its easier. There is more time to put into friendships – however I try to remember that we all relationships take effort and sometimes it will be you that has to put in, but it will even out at other times.

  • I learned a long time ago to make peace with myself, by myself. Sure I prefer to have friends around, but unfortunately I’ve not been someone else’s closest friend in years, I lost that when my best friend overdosed. I have quite a few friends who say they “are there” for you, but if/when you actually need them, they’re actually not. So I’ve learned to do most things alone.

  • I think we are all in the same boat, but also all a little bit guilty of sticking to what we know or what’s easy. Don’t give up, there is definitely a mum friend out there for you, who probably yearns just as much for a new friend as you do.

  • I definitely lost a few friends when i became pregnant as i was so exhausted, and realised that i was the one putting all the effort into maintaining the friendships… its now been 2.5yrs and ive not heard from these people.
    I do still make the effort with a few close friends i have but its hard when we both have kids as life is busy, you’re tired, the kids dont cooperate or like mine, seem to be sick anytime you make plans

  • Life gets so busy once you have kids. It’s not you!

  • No you are not the only one. People are always so busy and they never seem to have time to catch up. I spend most of my time with my husband or two sisters because they are the only ones I can depend on. My friends are always cancelling, postponing or coming up with lame excuses

  • I love to be asked to do things, but I rarely am the one to ask because I am a bit shy and I don’t want to be rejected! Keep making the effort, us introverts appreciate it.

  • I can totally relate to this. When I was younger, I had no issues. As I got older, it got harder, it seemed I was the only one making an effort, even with family. Busyness could be contributing, but it doesn’t feel nice

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