9 Answers

My husband was recently made redundant so I have stepped up to the plate and back at work after being a stay at home mum to 2 boys 4 and 1 while he looks for work. At first I enjoyed being at work but then I started to really miss my boys and now they now constantly want their dad and not me. Feeling very sad and trying not to feel jealous as it is a great thing that the boys have bonded so well with their dad, but feeling pushed out.

Do you have any tips for this mum? MoM x

Posted anonymously, 1st April 2015

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  • I can relate. But they love you both and favourites will chop and change over time

  • My daughter only wants dad and screams like I’m a stranger abducting her if I take her away from him. I am happy for their relationship and thankful that I can shower and pee without an audience!

  • My son rarely sees his dad but when he does, he returns home with all these wonderful fantastical stories of the things they did together. It’s really hard.

  • I sometimes get angry if my kids are having a good time with their dad or if they tell him something they haven’t told me. At the time, I feel as though I’m the one that does everything for them , and I am!, and they shouldn’t be liking him so much. They should like me more. Doesn’t last for long, I mentally slap myself and remind myself they have 2 parents and are lucky to have a dad that wants to spend time with them

  • Just think this is how your husband must have felt while he was supprting the family, yes its great that he is getting this quality time with them before they grow up he has missed out on so much already. But now the sad thing is you are now missing out on so much. I would suggest a happy meet in the middle is there anyway possible you could both work part time so you both get the quality time with the kids,and with eachother? with a veiw to one of you going back full time once both are at school?

  • It is quite normal to feel a little jealous and left out. Why not try to arrange one on one time or an activity which is just mom and child’s thing. Make it special and then it is always quality time where you do something special together which is just Mom’s idea. it is lovely that your children have two loving parents. Be grateful your husband enjoys his time with them, they still love you also, you will always be Mom.

  • My boys have a wonderful relationship with their dad as he was a shift worker when they were younger and I worked so they spent a lot of time together and yes I have (and still do) get jealous of the relationship they have. I have come to realize though that it doesn’t replace me in their lives – it is just different and as your boys are still very young I am sure it will swing back to you at some point. My boys are now 10 and 13 and they obviously have more common interests with their dad (sport, fishing etc) and I’m glad they built that relationship early on.

  • Try to spend some alone time with the boys at the weekend.
    Be lucky they have a relationship with both of you, some kids are not that lucky.

  • may be at the weekend have some special one on one time with each child. take them to the park or read stories etc and do it as a routine just you and them with out hubby and other sibling.

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