151 Answers

I have a friend who I think is trying to always have ‘one up on me’ when it comes to our little boys. For both of us it is our first, mine being 4 months older. Right from the start she has always made it out that he sleeps through the night (but I know otherwise from her husband), we both expressed for when we go out. She always told me from 1 week she could express 300ml in 10 mins but then at 4 weeks told me she decided to stop expressing as its easy to just feed him (she knew I was only getting just over 100ml each time). Her son is now 3 months and only just holding his head up now (mine has done that since 6 weeks) but she tried to make it out as hers did it first. My son has just gotten 2 teeth and now she says her boy is teething and thinks they will come through soon. I told her yesterday I am getting a jumperoo for my 7 month old next week so she said she is getting one for her 3 month old today. I am just about to forward face my 7 month old in the coming weeks and as her boy is not far off height of our boy she says she is going to forward face him in the next few weeks too (despite me saying it is illegal to do before 6 months). Am I just being silly or does it sound like she is trying to compete with me???

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  • If her behaviour is worrying you maybe it’s better to cut ties. Friends should support each other, not compete with each other.

  • I had a friend like that once, everything was a competition, though subtle. If I got something new and was excited about it, she’d talk about something SHE had or how my thing had a fault etc. Her partner was the same, everything was “one up”. People like that are not genuine friends. Real friends are happy for you and what you achieve. To compete over kids, though, when every child is different, is ridiculous! Sounds like she’ll be rushing her child to achieve things whether or not they’re ready. Slow down and enjoy your baby. Relax and just mention how much you love being a mum to her, let her babble on about her bub and know that you are both equal, as are your babies.

  • Definitely sounds like she us competing. Not just competing, but trying to be one up on you and your baby. Ignore her, if you can’t cope with that, stop seeing her

  • I say it’s not your problem… chill out and let her have the stress.

  • . Maybe this person is competitive because they are jealous of u. Take it as a compliment

  • I absolutely can’t stand competitive mothers and try to avoid them at all costs. Spend time with positive people who nurture your child and pay compliments instead, there’s no point wasting time on people like her

  • It does indeed sound like that. I wouldn’t let it worry me though. She’s obviously got some insecurities there but that’s her problem, not yours!

  • Ugh, I can’t bear competitive mothers…She sounds insecure and perhaps has become fixated on “firsts”, maybe don’t even mention your baby’s firsts to her at all and that might help…

  • I found mothers group to be the same sort of thing. I’m sure given time things will change as the kids get older. I unfortunately at the time was experiencing difficulty with my son not feeding properly and he had other problems so I eventually chose for my own reasons and self esteem to leaves mums group but every group is different as is every friendship and individual

  • Unfortunately, many Mums are very competitive regarding everything their child does. Perhaps you need to broaden your horizons, find some new friends, with children the same age as yours. Join a playgroup, baby gym or similar. Find some less competitive Mums to enjoy and share your experiences with.

  • You are both competing otherwise it would not be a concern to you. Stop it and enjoy what you have and ignore her comments.

  • Ive seen a lot of mums compete and seems every mum here where ive recently move too seems they think tbeir better then others and their kids are better then everyones elses kids. Its silly, crazy and immature. Im sorry to hear your going through it with a friend and dont worry you it aint just you it does sound like from what you said she is competing

  • I have had friends in the past who have been this way also. I know it can be exhausting and frustrating but I agree with what everyone else has said, it definitely sounds like she may be struggling with self confidence, particularly the confidence she has in herself as a mum. In some ways it is a compliment to you as she obviously sees you as someone who she wants to be like and she probably wishes that her son was progressing the same as your son, especially in the areas that she is struggling with. If you want to keep the friendship it may be hard but the best thing to do would be to keep encouraging her and reassuring her that all babies are different and praising her when her little man reaches milestones. I know it doesn’t seem fair, the friendship may seem very one sided and be a bit tiring for you, but if you have been friends for a while and you see her as someone you want in your future maybe just grit your teeth and try and get through this phase. Whilst having your first baby is the most amazing experience it can be a very emotional and challenging time as well, maybe once she settles into motherhood and her little one grows up a bit she will settle down. All the best, I hope things work out for you both :)

  • Being a mum is more competitive than any sport! There’s so many competitive mums… I’m sorry you’re going through this with a friend though… Just try your best to ignore it…

  • lol how crazy People can be I know people who do this Too and it sounds like she is very Insecure

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