29 Answers

I haven’t been with my ex for almost three years and I dont know how to move on. I still think about him a lot but I really want to move on. He was such a nice guy who helped me through some bad things but then just walked out one day with no explanation. I am wondering if its because I was never told why as to why I’m holding on or worried there may have been other reosons but its been ages and I need to forget. How do others deal with this?

Posted anonymously, 27th May 2014

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  • This is hard if you haven’t been given reasons. I suggest trying to “change the subject” in your head every time you find yourself thinking about him.

  • By doing things to keep you busy, to take your mind of things. Get out and get social, meet someone new.

  • Because he is not in your life you are thinking about him but once you meet someone else he will be history as you have moved on and enjoying life.

  • It’s hard enough to move on in general, but even harder without closure. I think that may have something to do with it. We all take different lenghts of times to heal – don’t be hard on yourself because it’s been three years. Try & look at all the positives in life. Everything does happen for a reason and everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end.
    Keep your chin up xx

  • Go see a councillor best thing I ever did just helps so much talking threw everything sometimes its better to talk it threw without telling friends or family as people can judge us but a councillor doesn’t it has helped me more than any friend ever could

  • You need to move on and start dating again, you might even find someone else and then you won’t think of him that often, write down how you feel in a journal/diary and you can write a letter and burn it if that’s better for you, enjoy spending time with friends and getting the most out of life.

  • you need to stop dwelling on him as I can see it is because he was there when you needed some one but than he walk out with no explanation. He has moved on if he has made contact with you so you need to go out as while you are sitting there you will never have a chance of being with Mr Right. I know how you feel I was with some one for 4 years and was engaged than fell pregnant and he drop me off to see my Mum one day and did not come back and was married to some one else he met before I even had my baby and he has never made contact,,,so I decided I did not need some one that was going to treat me like that and moved on but lifted my standards way up on what I wanted and what I would not put up with and that I did deserve better than that and I did and I dated for a while that I got with Hubby and got married and have not looked back for 28 years so far so now you are missing out on what could be but you should be looking for what should be. If you contact are you prepared to hear what you seem to not want to hear. You really have no need to as his actions are telling you loud and clear and you can move on I am proof of that and get on with your life with out giving him a place in and what I mean by that is thinking about him and such that is giving him your time. You have to decide you are better and go and put your self out there to find better

  • Three years is a long time to not be letting go, he obviously has if he has not beedn in contact, you need to go out with friends and find life again

  • I wouldn’t contact him. Do you really want him to know you have been dwelling on this for 3 years? I’d advise going to see a counsellor. They would be able to assist you in moving on. Good luck.

  • I would not contact him, it could spark changes in the life you have now & you may regret doing it later. I have heard the letter idea but was told try not to ask any questions in the letter but to write how it has affected you & why you want to move on. I left my ex for a better life & think about him all the time, mainly wishing him well & for a good life for him as he was a sweet guy too.

  • Difficult situation. It might be easier to move on if you don’t know why sometimes we think we are ready to hear the truth but sonetimes its just to hard. Life goes on eventually

  • I wish I knew :(
    I posted a very similar question..

    It definitely sucks… Especially when you even remove yourself from their life for years and still, all you can do is think about them.

    People say just give it time.. Sometimes, it doesn’t work like that..

    Maybe some closure will help? Even if it’s just writing a letter to him, then burning it

  • Maybe you feel like this way as you were too dependent on him. Try to be yourself. It’s true you should have been given the reason as to why he left. Life is not fair every time.

    Be strong. Let the past go. If you want to move on then you need to stop thinking about the past. Think more about present and how you can get a better future.

    You will find success but you need to believe.

    I had one situation where I went out with another one just to forget an ex. Not a good idea. But maybe going out more often with friends can help

  • I agree contact him and ask him why he walked away you need to find your answers your looking for and it might ease your pain good luck.

  • I think you’ll be opening a can of worms if you approach him to why he left. Do you really need him to spell it out because you may not like what he’s got to say. Move on by going to a counsellor.

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