Whether intentional or not, my in-laws often say the most outrageous things to me. On one hand, it’s lovely to know exactly where I stand. But on the other it’s challenging to face being fired at from all directions most of the time.
During my in-laws most recent visit, my mother-in-law explained how I am the cause of all of my children’s medical problems.
I don’t know why it was hard to stomach- I mean I already blame myself as a parent for any little thing that goes wrong. But having someone else do the blaming for me on my behalf really struck a nerve!
Especially the children’s own grandparent! Realistically their son contributed to half of the genetics so why should I be burdened with the entire blame.
My husband knew I was hurting, he said he saw it all over my face. Yet instead of talk about how deeply crushed my soul was after his parents visit- he went straight to bed.
There I was dying under the weight of knowing other people blamed me, in the same way that I blame myself for things ranging from my children getting eye infections to my ten year old with brain damage.
I blame myself, even though there is no reasonable explanation as to how it is my fault, I blame myself entirely- always.
How could my hubby sleep straight after hearing his mother blaming me for things which are out of my control?
Do men simply avoid these situations so as to not get between the mother that they love and the mother of their children?
It’s just that if my parents had tried to run my husband through the ground I would have said something on the spot- not wait until my spouse is shattered and my parents have left before I acknowledge the pain caused.
It’s not even my mother-in-law being nasty, this is just genuinely how she feels and she was just letting me know, in case I didn’t already.
Are wives simply expected to endure nonsense from their in-laws without dragging their hubby into it, especially since it isn’t his fault- or is that the entire point of a partnership… that we are there to provide strength for one another no matter what the other person faces, they’re never alone…
Would you want your hubby to let you vent, try to laugh it off- or would you understand them not wanting to hear you out especially if they can already see your ‘broken’ showing?
Posted by someonesmother, 5th November 2020