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I love my little girl to death but within the past few weeks she has begun to throw more temper tantrums and demanding that I hold her at all times. She’s 20 months so I know temper tantrums are normal for this age, what I wasn’t expecting is that she would irritate me so much. She sits on my feet when I’m trying to get dinner ready and just cries and cries, she refuses to go to my husband and instead demands ‘Mummy! Mummy! Mummy!’ I feel terrible that I get so annoyed with her but I don’t know what to do, it’s so frustrating to not be able to take two steps without being assaulted with tears and demands because she isn’t getting her way. Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any advice?


Update from anonymous …

I want to thank all the moms for their advice and understanding. The hardest thing is the guilt but I think I need to remind myself it’s ok to need to do something without a little one hanging off me. I don’t yell at her and we play before and after dinner so I guess I’m doing pretty good. And my husband has been quite happy to jump in once I reminded him of the safety aspect so now he’s been trying to distracted her with games with him in the playroom, worse case scenario we have Netflix now so there is always bribery in a Wiggles episode.

I really can’t wait until she’s old enough to help me because I love to cook, I’ve even found recently about making safe ‘helper chairs’ for toddlers and toddler safe knives to make it easier for her to be able to help me in the kitchen.

Thank so much for listening and helping everyone!


Posted anonymously, 15th April 2015


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  • Love reading the update, I wish more of these questions and articles did have follow up reports. So good that you are developing coping mechanisms and not reacting badly to her tantrums. Also great that hubby is stepping up to help out


  • So glad to hear things are improving!
    Don’t forget to take some time out for yourself.
    Soak in a bubble bath, go for a walk, spend an afternoon in the salon, see a movie, anything that you would enjoy.
    & if you can arrange it, make one night a month date night for you & hubby!
    He sounds like a very supportive man & he deserves a treat too.
    Hope things continue to improve for you.


  • I never had the 2 years old thing… I would suggest that you cook the evening meal when she is down sleeping in the morning. Try cooking casserole meals that can be eaten and cook enough for freezing so dinner time becomes no hassle. I would give her a lovely bubble bath at 4pm or so giving her time to play in the water. I always found this to be calming for everyone. You could grab a cup of tea or coffee and sit with her as she played. When dad comes home he could get dinner on or at least served. You could have fed and bathed you little one ready for bed. This phase will pass don’t stress it just change the routine to suit you better.


  • Yep, have similar moments too. And the times that I get cranky just ends with us both getting more upset. I try to sit and have a little cuddle with her or sit her up on the bench and include her in cooking dinner or let her watch a bit of TV. I also tell her (calmly) that the screaming/whinging/holding onto my legs makes me feel a little bit crazy, would she like a cuddle/to help me/something else? Kids have a knack for finding out weak spots, hey! Lol. My saving grace is that it won\\\’t last forever and wine. Lots of wine ;-)


  • That’s really tough for you. I have been there.
    Try and have some special activities that just her and dad play during this time. It will take some timeand she will protest but you will get there.
    The other idea someone else mentioned about the highchait. So she can be near you safely, this maybe another time for certain toys. Don’t feel bad mama you will get there


  • yes its perfectly normal and i am annoyed daily by my children, I get cross they get worse! Dad needs to try to just pick her up and distract her, take her off for a walk or play in a different room, she will hopefully revel in her bonding time with dad after a few weeks. its hard work being their security blanket and Daddy needs to enforce that gently upon her so you atleast get a break, you could also put a gate on the kitchen door and let her scream from afar, eventually she will see she cannot win, alternatively Dad could cook while you play with bub


  • It’s a terrible issue, I have a very similar problem. But my son tends to shift his affection when his father comes home from work. I have been trying to get him outside running around during the day, when he isn’t sick, and sit him in front of his favourite DVDs while I get dinner. It works most of the time.


  • Do you have a high chair? Put her in it and let her watch you work. Talk to her as you chopping, mixing or what ever. She might just be needing something to distract her from feeling bored. You can play with her as you cook. Maybe also give her some stuff to play with making her feel she is helping you. Good luck.


  • Its norrmal to feel this way dont feel bad. my three kids do my had in all the time, i really do need a little time to myself but only seem to get tht once a week ao a tuesday then my hubby decides to pull a sicky that day as the kids are at school,kinder, daycare etc and he wonders my i get pissed off.
    My youngest says no daddy, mummy every time it comes to a nappy change. Just give yourself some wuite time when you can,


  • Does she still have a day nap? If not she may be at the stage where you need to persist with one every second day as we did with one of ours. If you play with her before getting your evening meal, you have to find a way of making her realise that she cannot be with you when you are trying to do cooking. Find a way of making her stay out of the cooking area. It is too dangerous for a child that young. Put a drink where she can get it if she wants it. Put it in a bottle she has to suck on if she is likely to spill it or tip it on the floor as one of you are likely to slip on it otherwise. If your husband is home he needs to force the issue, not just to stop her from getting her own way, but for safety too.


  • My son is 2 in a few weeks and he is doing the same thing. The first thing to do is stop, take a breath and to not feel guilty. Society does this horrible thing where it tells us as Mums we come last. Not true, we not only need to look after ourselves to look after our kids, but also to teach them other people matter. 5:30 on the dot (or earlier if I start cooking earlier) my son will cuddle my legs. Its like he has a sensor that I’m busy. I give him a few opportunities to watch quietly or plonk him in front of the TV but they never work for long, so I have started him having “quiet time” before dinner. I put him in his room with books and toys and cook in peace, then get him out when dinner is ready. I have made it part of the routine that we have quiet time, have dinner, shower then bed. So maybe quiet time will work for you too? You are entitled to feel annoyed, angry, tired, anything at all, just try not to feel guilty about it :)


  • Heard of Terrible Twos?! Youre not alone. They can be terrible. Have you tried playing with her? Or do you stand above her pointing and yelling.
    Try just sitting and playing. Have that time, make the time. What does she like? Hairdressers games or bathing the dolls with real bubble bath in buckets. Get creative. Have her as your helper. She can pass pegs hanging washing. She can be your food taster at meals.
    Stick to follow through with time out. It takes energy.
    X
    Good luck.


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