Hello!

39 Answers

I had my bond broken with the help of my lifestyle & domestic violence, for which I sent her to my mothers for protection. I feel since then we have never had our bond back it got broken which breaks my heart she was only with my mother 10 weeks all up what went wrong? Please help.


Posted by amberohlson, 21st February 2014


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  • My situation was different to yours and I had no where to help me with kids and my eldest turned on me and I was the one who broke the marriage up. Anyway with your daughter I would get a councillor involved so she can talk about her feelings etc, as that might help build the trust up.


  • It’s going to take time. You’ve lost her trust and she possibly sees you as someone she can’t depend on after this experience. I hope you didn’t give up and that you’re both back on track today


  • Sorry to hear. Don’t give up the damage can be restored with love patience and consistency


  • This is sad. All you can do is build on your relationship and trust. Show interest in what she does even if she is belligerent to you. Persistence is the key with mother/daughter relationships. I hope everything works out for you both.


  • A broken bond isn’t something you will get back at the click of your fingers. It will take time, probably a lot of time. You’ve let your daughter down, no doubt she feels hurt and angry and has little trust in you. Work on it!


  • Time, give it time, things usually improve with time. Teenagers can be tough to connect with, let her mature and grow up a bit


  • Really interesting reading the comments on this!


  • I know this question was a while ago, I hope things are better.
    My dad experienced depression when we were younger and wasn’t a great dad for a few years, not really present and irrationally angry at us sometimes.
    Now he’s better some of my siblings still haven’t reconnected with him because he tries to do nice things and expects that to make up for it. They need him to acknowledge what he did wrong as a parent and apologize for not being the did we needed. Depression wasn’t his fault but he still wasn’t the dad we needed.
    Totally different situation but it may be worth saying those things to your daughter – that you sent her away for protection and you’re sorry you couldn’t be there when though your partners violence IS NOT your fault. Let her know you want to reconnect and will be trying to show her how you love her. As others have said she needs to deal with it too like you.
    You are a great mum doing your best to support your daughter. Well done for that.
    Now just create the time and space to reconnect. Cook once a week together. Watch a TV show together. Go for a walk. The connection will come back with time to heal and talk. All the best xx


  • Not sure and not much advice but best of luck. Time will heal most wounds.


  • she has also gone on this journey with you. maybe she needs time to deal with what happenened. it probably really affected her. give her time and build that bond back slowly


  • It takes time to rebuild trust, you’ll get there eventually by spending time together.


  • It may take time but to be honest 10 weeks isn’t enough time to break bond try talking to her one on one time.


  • It might take a little time, just hang in there


  • I think probably there’d been a lot of damage before you sent her to your mother. You probably need to allow a lot of time to rebuild that bond.


  • 10 weeks isn’t enough to break a good bond, maybe your just feeling a little guilty


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