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My partner and I have been together 2 years and we are engaged, and I have a 15 month old from a previous relationship as I met my current partner when I was 3 months pregnant and he has been in our life ever since. I am now half way through my second pregnancy and as this baby is his child I am worried that when this baby is born my 15 month old is going to be treated differently because he is not biologically his. How do I solve these thoughts? I have brought it up with my partner and he assures me it won’t be the case, but I’m not convinced. How should I work through these relationship troubles?

Posted by anon, 31/08/13

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  • I have seen blended families that work and others that don’t. Thinking about them, apart from the people involved, there really are no outstanding red flags that could have predicted the success or failure of these relationships. Even if hubby has no issue with the kids, you may have issues because you are expecting and might perceive problems


  • Have you considered relationship counselling? It might help to discuss your concerns with a trained third party.


  • How did things turn out for you and the family?


  • Try to not worry about this now. Your partner is been an amazing dad, why would he changed? I don’t believe he will stop loving your first child no matter what.


  • The only way you can solve this problem is when the new baby arrives. Only then will you be able to see if you are right or if hubby does treat both kids the same as he promises to


  • Just wait and see what happens. It might be pregnancy brain freaking you out. If he says nothing will change, perhaps trust him


  • It is more than likely your pregnancy hormones making you feel this way.
    This man has been apart of your lives since you were 3 months pregnant, I really doubt he will treat either child differently.
    You can discuss it as much as you like with your partner but I doubt you will believe it until you see it for yourself.
    I wish you all the best of luck & congratulations on your impending arrival.


  • Yes! I would just wait and see how it all goes too!


  • If he already treats your son like his own it is unlikely that this will change when the next child is born. If you notice that there are changes in the way that he treats your son after the birth of your next child, talk to him, discuss your concerns.


  • My husband came along when my son was 5 and although my son still sees his father, my husband treats him like his own. If he is a good father and partner then im sure he will love both children equally, especially since he has raised your first from birth.


  • Sounds like your partner is a nice guy. so he will nice to your child too. Don’t worry to much.


  • if he treats your child ok now, then I don’t think it will change


  • Hope it’s all going well. If your partner has been there the whole time I wouldn’t be too worried. Everyone plays favorites once in a while as long as he doesn’t completely hate her when the new bub comes!


  • just wait and see how it all goes


  • Don’t worry just yet, wait and see how it all goes, it might be just fine.


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