12 Answers

Hubby not keen on a third but I can’t shake that clucky feeling

Posted anonymously, 4th June 2017

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  • If you feel you want another talk about it and see how your other feels about it

  • Best to sit down with hubby and really talk it through so it’s not something hanging in the air. I find being totally honest, even if you’re not sure the other person is going to respond positively is always the best way. At least then you can both put your feelings about the issue out there and come to a decision together.

  • It’s something you will have to talk to your husband about, or convince him about haha. Good luck!

  • Sounds to me you have some talking to do with your husband.
    A friend of mine was sneaky and “forgot” the pill, whilst her husband didn’t want to have another one. She fell pregnant and it’s lightly to say her husband wasn’t pleased. I can’t advise you that.

  • I know of three families where one of the parents wanted a third child (in two families it was the mum who wanted a third, and the other it was the dad) and all three families settled on two children. It really is a very individual choice though, and one that both parents need to agree on.

  • It is your decision (and your hubby’s). Perhaps try and list the pros and cons, and work out what is going on in your own mind or with your emotions to get to the bottom of your needs (and perhaps see if something else can help meet them or if another pregnancy is the answer for your body). Also make sure that you are giving your existing children enough time. They are little souls hungry for as much love and time and attention that you can muster up. I used to think about more children but then realized I didn’t have too much more of ‘me’ to share about and decided to do the best job in the world with the ones I already had. (Then a few years later when I was ‘needed’ in different ways by older children I discovered a hobby and was very glad that I was ‘free’ to pursue it before having got too old!)

  • Its definitely something you both have to agree on. You should also be taking into account why your husband isn’t keen. Eg. Financial reasons, worry it will put too much strain on your relationship, will you have to upsize to a bigger house etc? I understand the feeling that your family isn’t complete but you also can’t bring a new life into the world just because you’re clucky.

  • I always thought I’d like 3, but after having my 1st and 2nd only 12 months apart, felt done for a long time. When I got close to 40, I felt very much that I wanted a 3rd, more so than hubby who also had 3 older children and 2 grandchildren. Fast forward a few years and I am now done with 17, 16 and 6 year old’s. Do what’s right for you I say!

  • I’m in the same place at the moment, we’re giving it 12 months and if we both aren’t on board I think we will shelve the idea as our youngest is almost 3 now and we don’t want a huge gap.
    It’s definitely something you both need to be in agreement on.

  • Although I do find this mom site very helpful ….I feel this is something that you and hubby must talk through and agree on.

  • You need to come to mutual agreement. Besides you wanting a new baby will you have the same emotions with your first 2 children? Spreading your love and time with 3 instead of just 2 children is harder and more time consuming. We have noticed our eldest child has suddenly become jealous of our second one not the youngest one. She will push in between people if others pay attention to the baby even if she has had exclusive time with all the people first.

  • I’m inclined to say yes, but it won’t be great unless your hubby is on board. Talk pros and cons with him.

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