I have a bit of a dilemma, my Ex has stopped paying the mortages and I am thinking of finding a way to pay myself without impacting my family. Do I have more rights if I start paying them or am I wasting my time?


Posted by luckymom, 22nd July 2014


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  • I would definitely seek legal advice. This happened with a friend of mine – she and her husband split and he bullied her financially by not helping to pay the mortgage. She continued to pay the mortgage but keep notes/ records/ bank statements etc.. showing the payments that she had made. It made a difference when the time eventually came for financial settlement.

    Good luck. I hope it works out for you.



  • What happened with this? I hope it all worked out for you.



  • I hope it all worked out ok.



  • see a financial planner. if you re not working, you might find this hard to keep up



  • I think you both need to sort out a plan regarding assets ASAP and then get a legal agreement signed by you both. Good luck.



  • I agree with Michelle that there are too many unknowns here. Is it a recent break up, or is there an agreement of some sort in place? If the mortgage is in both your names, contact your bank and ask them what you can do. Did you know you can apply for a suspension of payments for 3 to 6 months under hardship clauses? You could also call Legal Aid for preliminary advice over the phone.



  • If you can afford to, keep paying i- by all means- but keep in mind if his name is on the title, well then he’ll get half if you ever sell, making your hard work for nothing. If there is any way to get his name off of the house, i would try to do that. Talk to who your mortgage is through and see if they can help with any suggestions



  • I would seek legal advice if I were you. I wish you all the best, this sounds tough.



  • seek legal advice only way to know for sure



  • No idea but I hope other mums can give you the answers you need.



  • i would seek professional advice



  • I think the best thing to do is seek advice from ur lender of morgage,sure they wil.



  • Oh gee I really feel for you. It’s a horrible situation to be in and one I’m sure is stressful. My ex partner certainly tried to bully me financially so I know how that feels. I would engage the services of a lawyer to see where you stand, just in case you end up wasting your money. Perhaps it may be also worthwhile in the mean time to contact the bank as I think in extenuating circumstances they can help you out for a period of time while you get the legal side of things worked out.



  • i agree with the other women here speak with a lawyer.



  • if you are on the deed or are guarantor they will expect you to pay even if he has stopped. I would seek legal advice and keep paying what you can keeping track of your payments


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