38 Answers

My nine month old is getting hurt at playgroup by other children and their parents are not saying anything to their child. I’m by her side but these kids are so rough. I leave the playgroup all the time when my little one is in tears and where I live there are no other groups to go to. So what I’m asking is am I stepping over the line by saying something to the child when they hurt my child or should I approach the mums asking them to watch their children and put down their coffee…it breaks my heart.

Posted by mia's mummy, 27th July 2015

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  • I would say something to the child. You don’t have to be awful about it, but something like, ‘that is not kind behaviour’ or reminding them that your child is younger/smaller/whatever. You also have to accept that these things are going to happen.

  • I would just say in a gentle voice “no hitting / soft & gentle” and move your baby away if needed.

  • If their mums aren’t going to say something then you should! Hate it when mums don’t pay attention to how their children are behaving. My child is normally good but yes she can be naughty and mean to other kids sometimes too so it’s up to me to keep an eye on her and discipline her if needed she is my responsibility

  • talk to the centres operator & if you get no help report it to the police & child protection authority

  • I think if the parents see what their child does and does not say or do anything I would step in and tell the child to be gentle

  • Yes I would speak up too, you are your definitely your childs advocate!

  • just say something to the effect of no, we don’t hit other people and do talk to the parents

  • I would suggest speaking loudly so that the other child’s mum can hear you and say to your child remember what we do when people are hurting us put our hand up and say STOP I do not like that!!! Even though your child is young she will learn this method and be able to use it in other situations. When you say rough do you mean they get hurt as in bumped in to or pinched and hit as there is a big difference some parents have different parenting ideas than others intentional hurting opposed to rough playing can be seen differently by different people. Perhaps they do not see it as intentional hurting as you do?? I have always used this method but I must say I have an awesome playgroup who would address their child if it was an intentional act and happened often although I have been out to other places where my child has been intentionally kicked by another child and I have told my child to say this and if it had continued I would certainly go and confront the parent and ask if they had seen their child kicking my child if they hadn’t then I would explain what action my child had used if they had seen it and had not responded intentionally then let’s just say they are not your kind of people!!

  • this used to happen to my son and i voiced my concerns to a friend who said to teach him to put his hands up to say stop. He wasn’t very verbal but the putting his hands up put space between him and other kids and sent a clear message. I was surprised at how effective it was. Failing that talk to the coordinator and if he/she doesn’t take action I don’t think there is anything wrong with a little. “No sweetie, *** is not for hitting . Just move back a bit ok?” say it loud enough for the other parents to notice. Playgroup might be a social outlet but it doesn’t give mums the right to stop monitoring their kids. good luck :)

  • Speak up, you are your childs advocate! The other parents should be stepping up, but if they are not you need to. Playgroup should be a wonderful experience for kids, it doesn’t seem to be all that great for your little one. If you are apprehensive can you talk to the organiser about your concerns?

  • Interesting topic. i know what i would do but it wouldn’t be politically correct. interested to see others views

  • I would approach the mothers very nicely and just bring it to their attention that their child is hurting your child and would they mind talking to their child so they understand what they are doing wrong

  • I’ve found that when it comes to other peoples children, it’s better to keep your mouth shut. Instead of approaching the other parents, I would speak to the playgroup coordinator and ask her for advice. Playgroup isn’t for everyone though and if your child is getting hurt, it might be better to find another activity instead of playgroup.

  • I would just say to the children oh no don’t do that its not nice to hurt people even if its someone else child let them know they shouldn’t be doing it but in a nice way. good luck

  • It’s so hard to say something to someone else’s child in front of a parent. Kids do play rough sometimes but they need to be taught to be more gently. I’d say something really nicely to the kid and hope that the parent then picks up on it and does something about it. If not, I’d move my child away and say ‘we might move over here where it’s a bit safer’, and actually move away from the child. Good luck

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