34 Answers

When do other mums start getting their kids to completely pay their own way?  My daughter has decided to go to university next year and will live at home but I’m not sure if I should continue to cover some of her major expenses.  I’d be keen to see what other mums think.

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  • It would also depend on whether she has a job because if she doesn’t then she can’t cover anything. If she has a job then maybe you pay for her food and she pays for her own toiletries, entertainment, phone etc.

  • Depending on her income she should contribute otherwise you risk enabling her to never be responsible with monies. Sadly life isn’t a free ride.

  • Yes I agree that from whatever income she has from a job or government she should be paying part of the expenses and also do her part in the household.

  • She should be getting some kind of her own money, from a part time job or from the Government. So I would be inclined to few get to be paying for some of her own expenses. It can only help when she has to move out on her and budget for bills, you’ll be doing her a favour

  • While she’s at uni it would be reasonable to either charge rent or not depending on her work and in some ways how much responsibility you want to put on her. I have heard of some parents charging a small rent and saving it secretly for when their child moves out.
    I would expect my children to pay their own phone, social activities, while at uni her own petrol but I if they don’t have a car I would consider lending one when they need it (still the family car though and potentially shared between siblings). I would stop paying personal items like clothes.
    I’m a softy so won’t charge rent but think it’s reasonable if people do. If my children aren’t studying they will pay food/rent.

  • Finding the balance between being a ‘provider’ for your child & teaching them financial management is tricky. I’ve enjoyed all the answers from mums to this question. I hope it’s all working out for you!

  • Definitely not all expenses. they need to learn to do chores around the house and work for their money to be able to go out and buy things that they want.

  • Does she have a job?
    Does she pay board to you?
    Does she have her own car?
    If she has a job, she should be paying you board for food/electricity/internet. Everything else should be covered by herself.
    If she has her own car, its her expense not yours its on her to pay it regardless of if she has a job.
    if she doesnt have a car she should pay you an extra $20 a week for driving her around. (Again, wether or not she has a job)
    Also a great tip for you is dont meddle in her money, dont nag her to pay her bills let her make mistakes and come to you for help while she is still at home and its easy for you to help.
    If your unsure about board and how much to charge add up what you buy her for food and then add an extra 10 for electricity and 10 or 20 for internet depending on your internet bill. If however she has no job make board NO MORE than 1 third of her weekly income i.e if she gets $300 a fortnight from centrelink, board should be a maximum of $50 a week

  • so what did you guys end up dong?

  • To teach her about being responsible etc get her to start paying you some money towards board – she should be able to get some government benefits for study. Also maybe ask her to help around the house a bit more if she is going to be still living there.

  • All depends on how she is… if she is great with her money then I’d help her out where possible but if she is using it more of a way to get out having to pay expenses socshe can party etc then I’d be asking for her to pay. Whilst saying that she can always still help with a little here and there for food or electricity.

  • My brother is still living at home with our Mum and he pays a certain amount per week which is to cover: board/normal meals/bills, etc. You could always ‘help’ with major expenses if they are completely necessary, but she needs to get some real-life experience, so co-paying might give her some responsibility.

  • You need to show her that you aren’t always going to be there. Ie does she work part time? She should pay all her own expenses and even possibly pay board

  • It depends if she is working or getting a support payment. You could offer her board but anything else she needs she should cover, thats the only way they can learn to survive out there in the big wide world.

  • Our DD is receiving a small payment for study and we do not charge her board. She is a good saver and does not waste her money. She pays for her mobile phone (small amount each month) and buys a lot of her own clothes etc.. I still buy her clothes as well and we pay for her medical and everything else because at 16 she is still our responsibility.

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