My 4yr old will not poo in the toilet, she continues to mess her pants, although she will use the toilet for wee. I am desperate for any tips and/or advice of how to get her to make the complete transition.

Posted anonymously, 23rd January 2014

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  • My grandson, aged 2 1/2, did his first wee on the toilet yesterday. My daughter in law used lots of bribery, he still wet his pants 3 times before using the toilet mind you

  • Hope with age she’s got over her poo problem .

  • Number 2s ,well we just kept trying a littlecwhile after feeding our kids .Maybe read a story so she relaxes ..

  • We found a reward system worked really well.

  • try useing chocolates for when she poos in the potty but only give her choclate when she does poo in potty

  • We are having the same problems with my 3yr son. Pees on toilet but refuses to poo. We are currently using a poo chart and he gets stars for the chart and a sticker for himself. It’s very slowly moving forwards. But it’s moving and that’s what matters. I think I might try the pirate hat idea that has been suggested :)

  • That American nanny show has great tips!

  • I would not take the advice of putting her down as others have said as that can just cause her to become more nervous about it

  • Whenever she does a poo still put her on the toilet and make her stay there for a while. No shortcuts allowed.

  • She’ll soon learn that the other way around is worse to feel.

  • My son was the same when we started toilet training last year just before he turned 3 so daycare suggested a rewards chart. That worked for a while but the same behaviour returned so I made a cardboard pirates hat and we put a sticker of his choice on it each time he did a poo in the potty, now he goes by himself and is even trying to wipe his own bum. Hang in there it will all fall into place.

  • LIke a few people have said reward chats. I used to sing silly songs about having a poo party in the toilet and that would take his mind off things. I found that he had a fear of doing number twos as it feels like they are losing a piece of them self – if that makes sense. Our son would wait all day until he had a nappy on at a night. Overtime he did finally do it – some just takes longer than others… good luck!

  • When we toilet trained our daughter she didn’t like doing poos on the toilet, we distracted her by making up “once upon a time stories” she still needs a story to do a poo most days but it takes her mind off any fears of pooing.

  • I would seek advice from a MCHN or the free MCHN phone system, just to ease your worry. Good luck :)

  • You can more about toilet training tips at

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