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Our 4 year old has just started to come into our bed nightly. She says she is scared and I dont know how to break what is becoming a habit.


Posted by mom90511, 27th April 2020


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  • Stop letting the child in your bed you can have a night light in their room they might like a toy to snuggle up to, my son had a blanket I crocheted for when he was in his cot and he used to take and have near his face he even used to drag it outside when he was playing and hated me washing it. Tell them they are big now and that is why they have their own bed and reassure them that they are safe maybe put some music on for them


  • My son did the same thing and is similar age. We tries to go into his room to comfort him (there is a spare bed in there which helps) ratger than coming into our bed. He has got out of the stage mostly and only occasionally wakes up scared


  • Try to find out why she is scared or of what….then talk about it


  • My 5 year old still ocmes to our bed. i think it’ll just pass with time. he’s getting better but sure comes abt 3 times in a week.


  • It will need some time and patience, instead of she sleeping with you go to her bed and let her sleep there so she knows that this is her bedroom where she has to sleep.


  • I miss those days of my boys coming to our bed for snuggles and comfort at night… But I do understand your frustration. My youngest son was quite often scared in the night so I brought an air spray (Body Shop have a good one for sleep) and called it “monster spray” (he thought there were monsters in his room so this was like insect repellent for them). We would spray it in his room before bed every night and it made a huge difference.


  • Comfort her first, then go with her to her bed and settle her and let her fall asleep. She will get the message she just wants to feel comforted by you. Something is waking her up, take her to the bathroom just before bed. Maybe she needs a little warm milk before bed only a half glass will do. Milk contains tryptophan, Tryptophan is an amino acid that can help the body produce serotonin, a brain chemical that can induce deeper and more restful sleep by creating melatonin.


  • All my kids went through this – they kept it up for around six weeks and then stopped naturally.


  • Go to her bed, don’t let her in yours


  • My daughter has been doing this too, so I have been starting to take her to bed and settling her back in before going to my bed. I did let her sleep with us for a while and it became a bad habit, so I am now trying to break it.


  • Take her back to bed it’s very important speak to her calmly sleep next to her for a little while then go back to your bed when she falls asleep


  • When this happened to us it was a short discussion and back to bed. Maybe if there is something that would make her feel more comfortable like a night light/snuggly blanket etc


  • Talk to her and see if you can get to the bottom of what’s scaring her. Once you figure that out you can work on stopping the bed hopping. When she does get into your bed, return her straight back to hers……no conversation no treats. Straight there and tuck her in and leave the room


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