24 Answers

I’m current pregnant with Baby #2 and my parents live out of the country. When our first was born they came over about 3 weeks after she was born, but with a new baby and a toddler to handle at once I’m wondering if it would be better to have them come out sooner to help out with my toddler too. My in-laws live in the same town as us so they’ll be able to help out the whole time I’m just wondering when everyone else needed the most help with their second one, or opinions from any grandparents about what you thought was best. Thanks!

Posted anonymously, 6th July 2015

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  • We had no help, so I don’t really have a lot of experience here. I would probably have really welcomed help in the first couple of weeks after the birth.

  • whenever you feel comfortable to have them come.

  • What an interesting topic atm for me. My son is expecting his first. I wanted to visit asap, but he’s put my brakes on. I was cut, to say the least, my mum wasn’t interested when I had kids. So I always wanted to be involved, but have been told no :,(

  • I found the first two weeks the new baby was still very sleepy and then bam at two weeks old she started screaming…a lot!! My suggestion would be 2-3 weeks of age :)

  • I would think straight away! Yeah help and support are great!

  • i hope that you have sorted this out. i hope that you are enjoying your “new” family

  • get them to come and help out as soon as possible

  • let them come when they want – if it suits you and hubby! Gosh, this is supposed to be a joyous time, not one fraught with what should I do and when.. Go with the flow babe trust your gut

  • My in laws are coming a week before baby #2 is due as we are moving house 1 week before due date. If we were not moving house and needed help with that I would not have them over to stay for a couple of weeks after birth.

  • I think if you feel that you need there help earlier I am sure they would be happy to help.

  • I found I needed the most help at the start. Just getting used to dealing with the two instead of one child took some balancing.

  • My brother lives in Thailand and his partner just had a baby. My mum went over a few days before bub was born to help out. They thought it would be better if my mum went over then because her mum lives only a few hours away and can come any time.
    Mum lives in a different state to me and also came over a few days after my second was born to help with my toddler. It was a blessing as it gave me a bit of a rest leading up to the birth. When you have a second child the earlier you can get help the better as the elder child needs that extra attention that they wont be getting from mum.

  • Think they would love to come earlier at your request, as for grandparents can sometimes be difficult for them to make first move, as may feel they are intruding if visiting too early. Let them know how you feel would be my first suggestion. It also gives older child a playmate while you attend to new bub’s needs. In my opinion good for kids to have grandparents and other people around them. Helping hand we can all do with so let them know soon. Me granny at school with one of my fellow students, age barrier zilch loved it

  • I found that with my 2nd and 3rd it was better to have the help once my husband had gone back to work. Having had C-sections he was off for around 4 to 6 weeks so my in laws came down after he had returned to work to help with cooking and cleaning etc. Good Luck

  • some good advice here. it depends on your coping ability and how helpful they are too.

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