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My 1st born will be 20 months when number 2 is due. We don’t have a lot of family support and no help from anyone. I am finding I am more concerned about who will be looking after my child than the actual labour. Is this normal, has anyone else been in this situation or able to offer any advice? I don’t like house guests but with the inlaws an hour away, they think it’s their right to stay. Our place is tiny and we like our privacy. With a normal due date 2 weeks either side of the actual date, they can NOT stay here that long! Any suggestions?


Posted by mom7108, 25th May 2015


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  • Are you using child care? We were lucky that I gave birth in working hours, and our child care centre had promised to take our eldest whether he was booked in that day or not. They were great – one of the workers had even promised to stay late if necessary.


  • My mother in looked after my son when I was in labour with my daughter


  • an hour is not that far away. can’t they just to you when the labour starts? check that a friend can look after him (or your husband) when you first go to hospital until they get there. I agree – having in-laws around that long would be a nightmare


  • When my Mum had my sister a neighbour came over and stayed with me for the rest of the night while Dad took her to hospital, then took me and my cot to my Aunty’s place, then went back to the hospital hours before my little sister arrived. My eldest eldest was collected from the hospital within minutes of us arriving there.


  • I don’t know your situation but I can tell you now if your inlaws can help in anyway USE them . You will be totally exhausted before and after the labour and even if your MIL can help clean your house a bit and help with dinner it is a blessing. Don’t analyse too many of your past problems and just focus on what is head of you . My mother was constantly mentally not well and could not count on her at all and was glad I had inlaws to help . It will be very quick and then you wished they would stay longer when they leave. Trust me .


  • I had my mother in law with us at the hospital. She took care of him with the other half was in with me, he would go out often to check on him. with my third, their aunty and uncle took over


  • I was lucky, my mother in law was only 10 mins away, so we dropped firstborn with her on our way to hospital. I can understand the in laws wanting to be there, I’m in same position, but my son has told me no thanks :,(


  • My mum. I was very lucky. She stayed for 8 days. If your husband shares your views, he will need to have a firm word with them about their and your expectations.


  • A distant relative lives in a country area and was driving to another town 20 min. away to do some shopping when she started to go into labour. She had her 2 y.o. in the car with her so she drove straight to the hospital. She knew where her Mum normally went shopping on some days so the hospital rang the shopping centre. The Shopping Centre Management started putting anouncements over their public address system for her Mum to contact the office. The Mother-in-Law heard the call a couple of times and decided to go to the office as she thought the Mum may have changed her arrangements as they had been talking a couple of days before. Fortunately they were close friends. Her Mother-in-Law went to the hospital and said hello, then took the elder child home with her until the Lass’s Mum got home. I am sure If you ask a friend to help out until the grandparents arrive they will agree or give you useful suggestions.


  • well you could ask them to be on standby as they live an hour away so they could come in as soon as you go into labour as most labours last for longer than an hour or so. and then when you get home from the hospital they then go home. So they will be there for only the time you are away. I am sure they will thrilled to be asked to look after number 1.


  • It’s hard when family isn’t around to help. Have you considered a couple of days of childcare to take the load off yourself?


  • I was lucky that my mum and dad where close and I ended up being induced so my son slept over at Grandma’s and came in to meet his brother the day he was born. Do you have any friends that you could call on to have your toddler or you may have to put up with the family saying for a while so you are not worried about it


  • my mum lived 45 mins away and she came and picked up my child and watched her for the first few days. when i was in labour, i heard the family next to me had brought their kids to the hospital


  • Thanks everyone, if only we could plan these things with no stress! I’ll have to have a chat to friends/family. My in laws have planned time off work…5 days after my due date! Kindof doesn’t help and its only due to them having a specialist appt. I’m wondering why there isnt a creche at the hospital!


  • My friend used a mum from playgroup when labor started… She dropped her kids off on the way to hospital. She’d been there before which helped the child. No your in-laws can’t stay for a whole month just in case! If there’s a back up friend to do a few hours while your inlaws travel up and take your child back to your house that could work? A tag team?


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