Hello!

19 Answers

This drives me absolutely crazy! Why are people just so damned rude? I spend time organising my 10-year old kids party, make an invite, sending it personally to each parent as we are only inviting 12 children. It’s now been a week and I have received not one single RSVP! I know everyone is busy and it’s easy to say “Oh, I’ll do that later..” and then forget. But now what do I do? I have to give the venue numbers in a few days so do I go back to each parent and ask them to let me know if their child is going to be there? Anyone else have this issue? Any solutions? Thanks!


Posted anonymously, 10th March 2021


Want more real mum questions sent to you?


You'll need to check this email to complete your signup.
Ask your question
  • Did you give them a RSVP date? Because in my experience, most people answer on that date. So I usually make it 2-3 days before I need numbers, giving me time to chase the odd laggard.


  • If they haven’t got time to send an RSVP why not just phone? It’s very rude not to reply. I’m sure they’d be livid if they catered for 12 children and none turned up.


  • This is really disappointing.


  • Yes it’s RUDE. I had this happen a while ago so the next year I explained to my kids we will take them and two friends of their choice to lunch and that became our family tradition. I do respond to all invitations in many ways. A card invite gets a card acceptance or inability. A text invite gets a text message returned asap, same goes with email and messenger. It’s just not that hard. Kids parties come with different people just not knowing what to do. So best is to contact the parent introduce yourself and go from there….


  • It is definitely rude not to send an rsvp to an invite. Using basic manners to respond to an invite is important. Children need to be taught this skill too. It truly takes a small amount of time to send and rsvp. Surely five minutes in a day to respond to an invite can be found. Numbers of people during Covid times at an event are even more important. Maybe send out a final reminder for numbers? Good luck!


  • I agree it’s pretty rude not to RSVP and think I would send another text to explain why.


  • Yes, once I received only 1 RSVP on the day of the party and only 2 girls ended up coming. We cancelled bookings and booked on the very last moment a bowling lane, after which we took the girls out for a meal by Hungry jacks.
    It sad when people don’t rsvp and bookings have to be cancelled.


  • it is a courtesy that seems like it should be common sense but unfortunately isn’t.


  • Always! I organised my first party with school friends a couple of years ago and my daughter specially chose the people she wanted – so not the whole class and it was around 10 people or something like that and only 2 people showed up. I think it’s incredibly rude and we always make an effort to get our daughter to any party that she is invited to. If you have the parent’s details I think by all means send them a message or something, but you shouldn’t have to!


  • I totally agree it is very rude. They should say yes or no and not stuff you around. I would send another text as a follow up and say that the venue requires numbers and you need confirmation whether or not their child will be attending. Nothing wrong with doing that. I hope it all works out for you.


  • I remember asking my daughter to follow up with her friends at school. She would ask them whether they were coming to her party or not and let me know their response. They kept their word. On one occasion though there was a boy who was wishy-washy with his response and I wasn’t sure what to do. I ended up including him in the number of guests I was paying for ($20 per guest as I remember) and he didn’t show up. His absence didn’t bother me or my daughter, but I was peeved at the needless extra cost. If they don’t give you a definite response, I would assume they are not coming.


  • I feel your pain. This seems to be the new norm and I find it rude and infuriating. It’s not hard to send a quick text. You know when you receive an invite whether or not you have something on. In my opinion, RSVP, put it in your diary, and if something else comes up for your child, too bad. They’re busy. I feel people hold off if a) they don’t want their child to go; or b) they’re waiting for a better offer in case of FOMO. I guess you can text everyone and say with urgency you need to confirm numbers. Otherwise, just go with those who do RSVP and if anyone else turns up… sorry. It’s then on the parent to explain to their child. Not ideal, but otherwise I have no idea.


  • A tough one. My first thought is to just not include the ones who can’t be bothered to RSVP. But that could spoil your party if numbers are low. I guess contacting everyone individually is the only way to go. Mind you, I myself have gotten confirmation of attendance verbally and then they don’t show. Some ppl are too rude and just don’t care


  • I completely understand, I have organised my sons party, just a small one as he is turning three. I only asked a few families like our neighbours with children, another family of my partners friend, my best friend family and then my partners brother with their children who are older. All have replied as I sent the invite by text to each and for the family the 5 older children who all have phones aged 14-20 I text each. One girl thinks she doesn’t have to reply, when people don’t reply I get really angry as I am I do organised when it comes to party’s my baby shower etc. the ones I had not heard from by the date I asked which was three family members I text them to say please let me know. And you do this a few times which ever method you choose and see what response if any you get. It’s extremely rude. I feel for you.


  • Oh my gosh. I feel your pain. Years ago I invited about the same amount of kids to our then 7yos birthday. Not. One. RSVP to say yay or nay. It was heartbreaking for our child.
    I’ve quit organising birthday parties that include their mates at school and instead we do family birthdays and invite my friends with their kids because at least they have the decency to let us know and make a huge effort.
    I have no solution to getting the other parents to actually respond. I too find it so very rude.


Post you answer
Like Facebook page

LIKE MoM on Facebook

What is your answer to that question?
Would you like to include a photo?
No picture uploaded yet.
Please wait to see your image preview here before hitting the submit button.
Your MoM account


Lost your password?

Enter your email and a password below to post your answer and join MoM:

↥ Back to top

Thanks For Your Star Rating!

Would you like to add a written rating or just a star rating?

Write A Rating Just A Star Rating
Join