40 Answers

Hi, my son who has just started school this year has been having troubles with a friend of his on and off since the beginning of the year. I thought it had all settled down, however he tells me yesterday that when my son get’s a lunch order from the canteen and when it is a sausage roll (which he get’s once a week) this kid tells him his lunch is rotten then proceeds to grab my sons sausage roll and breaks it in two and gives my son 1/2 back! I know he’s not lying because his friends mum has actually mentioned to me a few months ago that she’d been told her son was stealing other kids food. So I believe my son. My son NEVER tells the teacher when things happen, even though he’s been told to many times by the teacher also (when he was getting pushed around physically). I’m pretty good friends with the mum so I don’t want to cause our relationships trouble but I want the teacher to be aware what’s going on. Should I write to the teacher, would you, or would you just leave it?


Posted by mom72209, 26th May 2015


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  • I would have a quiet chat with the teacher, just so they know the situation and can keep an eye on things for you


  • I’d tell the teacher so that whichever teacher is on playground duty can keep an eye on the children while they eat their lunch.


  • IS telling the teacher really going to help. Depends how old your son is. If he’s not old enough to fight back to this bully, then yes, tell the teacher.


  • How did you get on? Was this matter resolved?


  • The fact that the Mum mentioned it to you previously, I would start by saying “You know how you told me a few months ago that….is stealing other childrens food?” I would very casually and discreetly say what you have been told.
    I would also mention it to the teacher to arrange for it to be mentioned at assembly. That way no names are mentioned. Ask the school to wait a week or so, that way the child concerned may not get nasty about it to your child and others he regularly takes food from.
    You should talk to your son about it. It may be the teacher favours the other child in some way, or that the teacher doesn’t care much for your child.

    We had an incident many years ago (some things you never forget) where my younger sister’s teacher gave me a note take home. I didn’t read the note but she was asking to see my Mum about him. My Mum went and spoke to the Principal as she thought he may know something about it. But he knew nothing about it. Mum didn’t go to the teacher at the classroom as she didn’t want my sister to know about it and embarrass her. She wanted to talk to her when she came home from school. The teacher walked past the office while Mum was there so he called her into his office When asked what the problem was she said she didn’t know. The Principal questioned her and her reply was “I don’t know, she is annoying” and walked out. The Principal was probably embarrassed as he was a very good principal. He apologised to Mum and said he would discuss it properly with her. He also said that he would contact Mum if there was an issue but he doubted there was. ….I had the same teacher 2 before and there was a strong possibility we were being compared. We are nothing alike. Teachers should not do that. She has a wicked sense of humour (her daugther has too) and if one of the other kids did something funny in class when she first started school, she would have a good giggle about it. She would get told off for that but because the teacher didn’t see what she was giggling about. Mum and dad had to talk to him about that. By the time he had the teacher who complained he had long given up doing that. She didn’t even do it when we had visitors and it wouldn’t have mattered. At home they didn’t care about it and told her it was Ok at home.
    I hope you are successful in remedying the problem without losing your friendship of the boy’s Mum. You to put the welfare of your child first.
    One other thing you could try if your son agrees is have something different for a week or two and hope the other boy doesn’t like it. He may leave your son’s lunch alone then.


  • I would talk to the mum as well. Your child’s safety and happiness are more important then upsetting this mum


  • Speak to the teacher concerned. Teachers would be used of dealing with sensitive topics like this. She will probably monitor the situation closely as taking the sausage roll. Is essentially theft and bullying – two behaviours that won’t be condoned.


  • Go and speak to your sons teacher its not right for the other child to do that also what if he takes something that he is allergic too the teachers should be keeping an eye on him


  • If you are good friends with the mum, then speak to her first. Not in an accusing way but just see if there are any underlying issues and offer to help if needed. The teacher can be involved because they are the ones who are actually there when it is happening but I think speak to the mum first so it doesn’t look like you are ‘dobbing’ on her son.


  • I would talk to the teacher. I think that could be one answer.


  • I would personally speak to the mum first, explain to her what is happening, asking her for her advice, but if it is necessary and the mum can’t do anything about it, don’t hesitate, privately speak to a teacher. See what they can do, without making a public fuss and embarrassing you or your child. GOOD LUCK!


  • yes ask the teacher to keep an eye out and let them know about it. Tell the principal who can remind everyone on parade about only eating their food and MOST importantly, discuss this situation with your child. Tell him how to politely ask this kid not to eat his food etc and then tell your child how to handle the situation, if the other child doesn’t behave.


  • How did you get on? How is your son coping?


  • I am a teacher and I would want to know this information. You can sort of say that you don’t want to make a big fuss over it (if you don’t feel comfortable) but that you just want to make the teacher aware of what is going on. We often rely on this information as we have so many to look after that we don’t know everything that is going on


  • Regardless of your friendship,I would speak to her first — “hey **,I need to speak to you about **.For a little while now ** has been taking **lunch,breaking it in half and handing the other half back.Could you please talk to ** about this as it’s distressing to **


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