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What would you do if your friend’s partner made a pass at you?


Posted by Cynthea Jenke, 25th May 2015


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  • VEry sensitive. Assuming you’re sure it was genuine and not just a badly executed joke, I would probably approach it as something like … “sometimes it feels like x is a little inappropriate…”


  • If I was 100% confident it was a pass and I had evidence I 100% would


  • Yes I think so too but do realise it can damage things
    However do realise that physical attraction and arousal in male can be pure a thing of the body reacting on what it sees, no emotion or love involved.
    I once had a colleague who took me on his hips at work and walked of with me. He was a happily married man and his wife was about to have a child. He did apologise to me I remember having a serious conversation with him about this


  • If I was one hundred percent, no shadow of a doubt sure, I would tell her. I would expect to be told if it was me


  • I would let my friend know. It would then be her choice what actions she took afterwards. But at least she will have the necessary info


  • If I was in the other shoes, I would want to know to know the truth especially if you want honest relationships from anyone . Having said that , I know some types don’t want to know and this could jeopardise your friendship because truth can turn into fear and denial. If you know your friend well then she deserves the truth . Its a tough situation .


  • This did happen to me and I did tell my friend. Our friendship ended as a result as she chose her boyfriend over me. A short time later their relationship ended but our friendship was never repaired. I believe I did the right thing even though I lost a friend.


  • This is such a tricky situation but you need to ask yourself if the shoe was on the other foot would you want to know?
    Your friend deserves to know what her partner is like. Just because you knocked him back doesn’t mean the next woman will.
    Your friend MAY blame you, & if she does she obviously wasn’t your friend to begin with.
    Do the right thing, no matter what the consequence.
    I hope your friend remains your friend & gets rid of her dirtbag partner.
    It sounds like she deserves a lot better!


  • Tell my friend. That’s so low! She needs to know she’s with a creep. You need to be 100% sure it was what you say it is though. Their relationship will be on the line, so be sure


  • I’d probably say tell your friend, if she decides to blame it on you then I think you can find better friends. Better to do your bit than to have that horrible question mark lingering above your head every time you see her.


  • I would tell them and say ‘you didn’t know what to make of it, so you thought you would bring it up to their attention to know how to handle it?’ Just that way it’s completely in their hands as to how to react to the situation.


  • Tell their partner to stop and that you’re not interested. Be honest with your friend. Unfortunately it may turn into a case of “shoot the messenger”. This has happened to me before and I told my friend who unfortunately thought I was lying and stopped speaking to me. Six months later she found out he had cheated on her with someone else and they broke up. If your friend doesn’t believe you then unfortunately they’re not worth having in your life. Friendships are based on trust and loyalty.


  • Just curious to know what did you end up doing,? Its really a hard decision to make. I was in a simular situation once to tell a friend or not. I had his best friend come and visit me at work to tell me the reason my best friends partner skipped her sisters wedding was to spend time with another chick for the weekend. Sadly she was pregnant at the time. Even though it did change our friendship ( for a little while for her wellbeing it was the best thing i did. She moved out that weekend and she later admited to me that he had cheated on her many times before. He now has kids all over town. It took her time to move on but now she has the best partner for both herself and her son you could ask for. I believe things happen for a reason. Just ask yourself would you want your friend to tell you if things were reversed. Let that asnwer your question for you.


  • Confront the partner if they ever try it again. Make sure that you are clear in stating where your loyalties lay and that you won’t hesitate to inform your friend..if you do not want the confrontation it may be best to not allow yourself to be left in a situation where it is only the two of you alone together. Sorry that you have been put in this situation to start with.


  • well your friend will probably not beleive you at first but the doubt will be in her mind and she might open her eyes and watch hubby more


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