25 Answers

Alright beautiful Mouths of Mums Community, I have a shocker of a question for you!

Imagine that you are invited to a wedding, interstate, at the BUSIEST time of the year!

There’s a few hurdles you have to navigate through in order to be able to go- firstly your spouse needs to get leave approved from work, which is challenging during the Holiday period. You also need to find someone to look after your half a dozen kids- you’re taking two with you. And everything needs to align regarding interstate boarders.

All things go to plan, you RSVP agreeing to go… and then in the middle of the night your spouse receives a call from the father of the bride telling him that:

1. You have to make the 12 hour drive, opposed to flying, because
2. You have to bring your spouse’s parents

It may not seem like a big deal at first, however, you and your spouse already discussed making the drive and he was dead against it as he’s the only one driving and is concerned for the children’s well-being (they are only aged 2 and 1) as well as how he would fair on the journey and if we would crash and die from exhaustion on the drive.

Your spouse agrees, because the father of the bride doesn’t allow him to have any other option and becomes agitated at the mere mention that you don’t have a 6 passenger vehicle to accommodate that sort of journey- you have a big family, so there apparently is no reasonable excuse for not being able to load 6 people into a car when you have more than that number of kids alone… even though they know you don’t have a car, they expect you to come up with a solution- like hiring one!

How would you get out of it?!? Can you even get out of it?!?

If you do go, you and your little ones are going to be trapped in a car listening to three adults speaking as well as screaming (your in-laws fight with each other nonstop) in another language for roughly 12 hours, and your spouse will still be the only driver- making the journey no safer than previously discussed!

Unfortunately I now believe the only reason we were even invited was as my in-laws chauffeurs to the wedding… and something about that simply doesn’t feel right…

They should have just written on the invitation “you’re invited to the wedding, but ONLY if you bring your in-laws with you!”

Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated please, I’m happy to hear any solutions or personal experiences xxoo

Posted by someonesmother, 13th December 2021

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  • Just send your apologies that you can’t make it. What happens if they close the borders again, you’d be stuck somewhere away from the rest of your children. Unless you both desperately want to go I’d let them know immediately that you won’t be able to go after all.

  • I don’t have an answer, but what an awful predicament. I suppose I’d just say ‘no’.

  • Just explain it as you have here. As soon as possible so they can make alternative arrangements. Or feign gastro the day before ;)

  • Don’t do it your kids need to come first and that is just beyond rude.

  • Way too much stress – my other half doesn’t drive for medical reasons so it’s left to me for driving anywhere so can imagine how it would be for one driver. Its a very long drive and if you don’t have enough room in the car, they should surely understand – would they be willing to switch and drive, pay for petrol or any stopping costs (e.g. if you have to stay overnight or food stops)

  • How to survive the trip from hell….put 1 in law next to 1 kid, their responsibility to look after, occupy said child, then they’ll be too busy to fight. Load car up with lots of snacks, games, a wicked play list of music and if all else fails lots of liquor for those who aren’t driving so they’ll pass out and you can drive in peace.

  • It isn’t worth all of the stress. I would say that you are unable to attend and that you will catch up with them next year and take them to dinner (if you like them).

  • I wouldn’t drive that far with two young children and I’d explain there’s no way your kids would be okay join the car foe that long so if the in laws want to come they need to fly too.

  • Say you’ve already booked flights?

  • I’d use the kids as the explanation and add that expecting one person to do 12 hours of driving isnt safe on them plus the kids will hate it, which is why you’d planned to fly. Sorry but no one who values your friendship springs this on you at the 11th hour.

  • I’d say my partner can’t get time off work and say you can’t go lol

  • I would be really mean and just say that you can’t do it and I would seriously consider not going at all. I know it will be hard with your family, but sometimes you have to stick to your decision. Think about it this way, would they do the same thing for you? If the situation was reversed? I doubt it… Families are so trick and I am fairly selfish these days and just say no. It’s sometimes easier in the end, because usually these things end in tears anyways.

  • I don’t understand why the in-laws can’t fly? Driving such a long way is uncomfortable, expensive (the cost of fuel is at an all-time high), and potentially dangerous. If my spouse did not want to drive all that way, I would not force him to and would offer to accompany the in-laws on a flight.

  • No. I hate these situations where people put you in an awkard or impossible position. How dare they? I would never do that. Just say no. It doesn’t work for you. If they have a problem with it, don’t go. They are so rude to ask this of you. So rude. How dare they.

  • Travelled 4 hours with an almost 2-year-old because the MIL had organised a family holiday, 4 hours away at the absolute hottest time of the year. It was such a horrible drive. That was with the MIL and Sisters in law in their own cars, staying at the same motel but in different rooms. I had to keep our daughter entertained the whole way, which is mentally extremely draining I love entertaining my daughter but being stuck in a car is just not fun, especially when it’s 40 degrees. I would never ever choose to travel that far with a baby or young child, especially when breastfeeding. But her dad had agreed for us that we would go. I couldn’t tell you how many times we stopped. I wanted to cry most of the way there and back. My daughter cried so much I’m sure she was traumatised from being in the car so long when she just wanted to get out, even though we made many stops. It caused many arguments between me and my partner (who have now split, this made an impact on our relationship but wasn’t the only reason) because I wanted him to stop even more than he did because I was getting so stressed out. 12 hours sounds like an absolute nightmare of stress. The family won’t fly? What if you pay for their flights? Spending a lot of money might be better than being stuck in the car so long with a young child.

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