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Whoever has been following my story knows, Dad had a nasty fall on the 17th Dec and my uncle picked him up from his house and took him to hospital. We were told if he went home he wouldnt survive. Then on the 21st Dec they discharged dad, told us he had stage 4 liver cancer and there was nothing they could do and he could go home to die. My mum being as beautiful as she is agreed to take Dad home to her place, the place they were married for 16 yrs, the home we grew up since i was 3 and the place he was the most happiest in his life. He seemed to be getting better, eating really well and up and walking. Everyday was a gift and I cherished spending time with him. On the 21st Jan, mum called. she said things had changed, Dad isnt doing well and to come and see him. I drove over with this horrible fear in my gut. When I got there, i went into his room (my old room) and he was just laying there staring into space. Mum asked him if he knew who i was and he looked at me and said um um um yeah i know who it is. first he thought i was my sister then he knew it was me. He kept repeating himself, yeah i know who it is, yeah i know who it is over and over and over which was a little bit scary, He was looking into my eyes and just repeating himself. I said to him Im going to get a drink, do you want anything and he said yeah i know who it is. I said I love you dad. and he stared for a minute at me and then i could see him trying really hard and managed to say I love you too. I walked out and cried to mum i knew this was it. A few hours later mum said to go home, it was late and not much had changed so we said goodbye to dad and went home. the next morning 22nd Jan mum called 7am and said Dad Dr had been and today was the day, he only had a few hours. Today was also Dad’s Mum (my nanna’s) anniversary, she had passed the same day in 2011. We knew today he would go with his mum. When i got there most of the family was there, his brothers, sister, friends etc. He wasnt responsive anymore and was just staring off into space. I went and sat on the bed next to him and held his hand, stroked his face and cried. I said that it was ok, i forgive him for the choices he had made in life and nanna is ready to take him to heaven. I told him i loved him and i always will and ill never forget him. and its ok to close his eyes and go with nanna. I went and sat outside and at 1035 Dad passed away, very peacefully. My sister was in the room with him. She said she told him its time to go, if nanna is here go with her and he took his last breath. My mum being the strongest person in the world, went in and closed his eyes, put his hands on himself and tucked him in. Surprisingly after a little while i decided to go see him. I had this pulling feeling that i needed to go in there. even when i said i wouldnt see him when he had already passed but i did and when i walked into the room i felt this warm comforting feeling, He looked so peaceful and i was so happy he was out of pain and finally with his mum and other family in heaven. I stood there and said goodbye. the worst thing was seeing him taken out on the trolley and put into the car, i broke down after that. I have been really upset about it all, i knew it was going ot be hard but i didnt think it would be this hard. My dad was always apart of my life but he wasnt a huge part so i didnt think the empty loss feeling would be so harsh but i feel lost, heartbroken and empty. I regret so much and i know thats just normal but i wish i had one more day to just have a proper conversation because i cant remember what we spoke about when i was last over to see him a few days before he passed away. His funeral is the 31st Jan. I love my Daddy, and i hope he is happy with his mum, his brother, his niece, his aunts and uncles, his nanna and everyone else. Rest In Paradise Daddy xxx

Posted by mrsgreen12, 28th January 2014

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