Blame and shame - Real Mum story on MoM

13 Comments

It’s very easy as parents to think that we’re the ones who have the greatest effect on our children and that every thing they do reflects on us and to quite a vast extent other people will look at you with those ‘tut-tut’ eyes and a judgemental/condescending turn of the mouth…but we’re not always the ones to blame for their shameful behaviour. Honestly, sometimes it’s other parents complete failings as parents that rub off on the kids …yes…we all have them… Those parts of our personalities that make us less than a saint, and they are as contagious as any virus in daycares and schools

My 2 yr old and I were shopping. I was carrying her around the shop and when we got to the checkout she was asked to return an item she’d picked up. She turned to me, slapped me in the face and screamed “NAUGHTY F*@&” at me and spat. (it was also later used in conversation with the grandparents as well *slaps forehead*) Well, that’s not a phrase I have or would ever use, nor is it one that our small family would ever use, so it did not come from us. It came from daycare. It was SO embarrassing that I was stunned to silence. The checkout attendant gave me one of ‘those’ looks. Shameful. Not only was it affronting personally, it was embarrassing and also so very sad to think that a child under 5 gets called that regularly enough to pass it to other kids at daycare.

I’m completely aware that I am quite possiby to blame for all the kids at daycare holding two bits of fruit up to their eyes and poking out their tongues (sorry) and quite possibly they have learned to put their head on the wall and say “I can’t do this anymore” (sorry) and they might even say at the top of their voices “For goos sakes, leave it alone!!” (sorry) We are all responsible for the state of our community’s growth. No-one with children is exempt from that responsibility. An no-one is entirely at fault. Parenting forums like MOM are so important for us to contirbute to, to gain a social “norm”. I really don’t want to throw judgement out to other parents who I know are doing their best, but please, can whoever it is please stop calling their kid “naughty f$@&” so that mine doesn’t use it to abuse me and I promise that I’ll try really hard not to bang my head on the wall and do googly eyes with oranges.

Posted by kanook, 27th March 2013

13 Comments

- - june11 said
  - 19 Jul 2016
    9:41 pm
Our comments became you don’t say that, it’s not nice. Where did you learn that? When we were told where /who it came from, we would say they just because……..said it/did it doesn’t mean it is right or nice. Please don’t say it/do that again. We would explain the reason. It is a shock when they say/do something that they have never before….out in public. You have to be quick and say that straight away. 1. you let it be known to others that it’s not acceptable to you 2 your child knows straight away that’s not acceptable. 3. If you wait your little one may not remember what he/she said by the time you get home.

- - mum888 said
  - 16 Jan 2016
    4:17 pm
Wow , That is absolutely shocking and it has to happen in public of course . All you can tell her is that word is dirty and not to be used around the house. Too young to start talking like that and is really unacceptable for any age, even adults .

- - Nas01 said
  - 09 Dec 2015
    1:54 pm
Oh no, dnt worry I’ve received that disapproving look from a total stranger when my little man decided to have a mega tantrum in the middle of the shopping centre and yelled that he hated me. Kids are like sponges and although we’ve never said we hate him or anyone, I’m sure he would have learnt it from even a tv commercial and stored it for future reference.

- - mom81879 said
  - 08 Nov 2015
    5:55 pm
Oh no, how embarrassing! Luckily most people are tolerant of a little bit of naughtiness from young children, I know I am

- - mom113055 said
  - 18 Oct 2015
    4:15 pm
shame and blame

- - mom111362 said
  - 17 Jul 2015
    11:44 pm
oh dear. I saw some horrible much swearing at her kid today. broke my heart.

- - mom113055 said
  - 21 Apr 2015
    2:02 pm
this story is good

- - mom93821 said
  - 27 Jan 2015
    11:28 am
I would be having a serious discussion with day care; this is not ok!

- - mom57522 said
  - 26 Dec 2014
    2:24 pm
I love the way you’ve framed this point!

- - BellaB said
  - 31 Aug 2014
    11:19 pm
Your overall point is valid – and sad – but you also made me laugh.

- - 3timesamum said
  - 30 Jun 2014
    11:58 am
People have no idea how easily kids pick things up. They always seem to come out at the worst time too.

- - jodie80 said
  - 31 Mar 2014
    5:19 pm
it was a different story

- - jodie80 said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    8:06 pm
im not even sure what to say to this ?