Don't judge! - Real Mum story on MoM

13 Comments

Today I was leaving a local play centre with my two kids… Miss one was in the pram and miss three was walking. Miss three stumbled and fell with an apple in her hand and the apple ended up completely immersed in dirt. Now usually I am an advocate for the ten second rule, but this was just too far gone, so I took it off her and she proceeded to completely lose the plot and throw herself to the ground. I asked her to get up and told her to just stay with me. She screamed louder as we waited for a car to drive into a commercial driveway in front of us. The passenger had her window down and as my child began to wail even louder this person decided it was necessary to glare at me and shake her head at me as though I had thrown my child under a bus. I was infuriated and instantly came out with ‘what is that look for?’ Possibly followed by an equally unnecessary ‘stupid cow’.

Emotion just boiled over. Why are people so quick to judge when they have no idea what has happened from the outside looking in? A wise person once told me that kids who are walking through the supermarket not crying or playing up are often being occupied with a big fat mars bar in their paws. The mums whose kids are kicking and screaming are the ones whose parents have had the strength to say no to the demands of their children.

Does that lady not think that I was not anxious enough? Did she think that I didn’t want the world to swallow me up? Clearly it was more necessary to take matters into her own hands and kick me while I was down. Being a parent is hard enough without having every man and his dog judging your every mood. We should be supporting each other… A reassuring smile, or nod is acceptable, but don’t judge our fellow mummies… They are likely to be doing it tough enough already

Posted by haldem337, 3rd September 2013

13 Comments

- - june11 said
  - 19 Mar 2016
    7:09 pm
I have felt it too. You have a little toddler who suddenly starts crying that he is thirsty. I have been known to grab a bottle of water, rush to the checkout and pay for it, then hand the bottle to my little one. A little one that young doesn’t understand that he/she has to wait until you have finished your shopping esepcially if you have only just started . I now carry a pop-top with water in it -one that I have crossed out the barcode and other details. I am currently using an apple drink bottle with the print blocked out. I washed the label off a couple but couldn’t get all the glue off the bottle itself.

- - mom108638 said
  - 04 Jun 2015
    7:46 pm
I know that look… I have felt it too.

- - mom56312 said
  - 30 May 2015
    10:13 pm
I have a child thats inclinded to have major tantrums at the drop of a hat, He has big issues self calming even at the best of times. When i see others kids do that i smile at the mum as to say i know what your going through. People have no right to judge people they dont know.

- - mom125971 said
  - 19 May 2015
    7:23 am
here here! I felt that judging glare on many occasions…my son is sensory issues and the smallest thing can totally set him off. It is really difficult for him to calm himself quickly, especially in a busy place like a supermarket….I try not to look up but I can always feel the stares and \’bad mother\’ comments…. after every meltdown, I usually end up in tears in the car.
People can be so judgemental- especially when they have no idea of the situation.

- - EllenG89 said
  - 15 Apr 2015
    8:15 pm
Stuff the haters! You know what happened and those who judge, that is just a bad reflection on them!

- - mom73672 said
  - 26 Feb 2015
    10:54 am
Well said….Good on you for holding your ground. Its difficult enough being a mum sometimes and more difficult when you set boundaries. You just have to dust yourself off and stick to your guns and ignore the shallow people who have nothing better to do than to judge.

- - mom93821 said
  - 31 Jan 2015
    9:38 pm
Unfortunately; some people do judge and jump to conclusions without knowing the facts or even bothering to find out the ‘real’ facts. It can be disappointing and upsetting when this happens. Judgmental behaviour is so unkind and unnecessary.

- - mom57522 said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    1:29 pm
Judging without knowing all the facts is something that most of us ot one time or another, are probably guilty of.

- - kali111 said
  - 11 Jul 2014
    5:34 pm
Walk a mile in someones shoes before you can really understand

- - yyon4699 said
  - 31 Mar 2014
    5:14 pm
well we are human.. everyone judges at some point… try to ignore them

- - omgjag31 said
  - 10 Sep 2013
    10:19 am
I have to say its easy to judge and I use to before I had my 2nd child. Now I know what it’s like and I’m sorry

- - emmad said
  - 04 Sep 2013
    2:59 pm
People are nasty and they should not judge. I shopping recently with my 3 year old who was told no she could not have something so she put on the biggest turn and screamed the shop down. People glared at me and made comments under their breath. I was determined not to give in and not to respond to the people. Then this really nice woman (a mother herself of course) came up to me and said “Congratulations, you are doing a wonderful job, well done for staying strong and not giving into her demands”, so there are people out their that are not rude and do try and understand what you are going through I would like to say, good on you for being a great mother and doing the right thing by your child and ignore those looking in cause they have no idea what is going on.

- - m.foley said
  - 04 Sep 2013
    6:05 am
There are nasty people who judge us all. I have been in the same situation many times and it’s hard not to comment at these people, wish everybody would mind there own business. I think people who judge others have major issues in there own life and it makes them feel better to treat others like crap.