In our culture we grew up comparing which child was the smartest and it really lowers your confidence. Do something nice for yourself , do anything in your power to enjoy your life and soon you wont give a hoot about anyone else. That is the best way to be and I learnt .

sorry for the huge post but you are not alone. just try to do the best that you can!

It’s sad but true. For some reason a lot of women want to turn everything into a competition. Including families and parenthood!

I know so many in the same situation and it is just appalling…Know you are much better than that and ditch the negativity in your life!

• • 
  • • mom93821 replied
    • 08 Jun 2015 , 7:10 am

  ---

  Good point-ditch negativity and toxic people.

Thanks for sharing your very personal story and sorry to hear that you are dealing with multiple issues. People don’t understand anxiety and other such issues as they are not visible; however; they are just as real and hard to manage. Wishing you well and I hope things do improve for you.

yeah it sounds like a lot of miscommunication between you two. i know that it isn’t always easy getting on with family. Trust me, i have had a period of a year living with my mil. She is bipolar among other things and a big alcoholic. I had come back from taking my kid to school and my littlie walked out to say hi and i called her inside to get her organised for other stuff, My mil had a disagreement with my partner and so she went off on me for that. My partner went out there to calm her down and she started swinging a broom at him. We didn’t talk for over a month. The next big blowout was a similar event but over a…..bin. I had moved the bin that i had paid for, somewhere so that my kid would not pull rubbish out. she moved it back and i told her why i was moving it and moved it again. She went freaking physco! She came into my room throwing punches but i put my hand up to push her away so i never got hit and my partner had to jump in. Imagine your man trying to keep his raging mum off of you while you have a newborn in your arms, a 2 year old child at the door watching her nanna trying to punch her mum and your eldest seeing this all. We locked ourselves in the room and my children cried. I so badly wanted to call the police but for my man, i let this go. She ended up moving out and 7 months later at christmas i let it go. She wasn’t invited to our chirissy but she knew that i would keep the kids away from her and her son was on my side. It was not my job to punish her but she realised that while every other person will be pushed around by her and they will take her crap- i am not her blood and i have no reason to. If it wasn’t for my children, i would not have a relationship with her. She wrecked it. We be civil now but i will never let her get close to me personally because i see right through her. I don’t let the kids sleep at her place and if she wants to see them and she is drunk, that is the end of it but to be honest, i don’t think that she evens cares about seeing them. We live in the same town and she only talks to you when she wants something. So sad for my kids when i am trying to pretend things are normal. It is sad when she is the only representation of a grandparent that my kids have. Oh can i just add that i was cooking, cleaning, washing up every single thing and she did not offer to help, not even once. We paid her bills and fed her without a thankyou while she got drunk everyday. She was supposed to be saving money to get her life on track but it was a big waste of a year and ruined our relationship. It is better to support yourself, not take things from them and keep your distance. So sorry this is a big post but i wanted to share this with you because i get it!

Maybe you guys will work it out but i think that you need to establish boundaries to protect yourself and your children.

It sounds like you have a lot of issues and problems. I’m so sorry, and hope things get better for you.

I hate to admit this but i too did smoke during my second pregnacy but i cut way down to one or two a day once i found out. I also had a drink or two before i knew i was pregnant. I spent the whole pregnancy paranoid something was going to happen, eventhough our first chid was born prem with issues at 24 weeks and passed away that triggered depresion big time.
My Inlaws were the pain in the ass you would expect making it all about them. Everybody kept telling nothing would happen but it did he was born prem at 34 weeks just days after my last check up. The comments after that was gosh you did say things didnt feel quite right. But lucky for us he was fine and we now have a lovely family of three kids. I now have a good realaionship with the inlaws they have learnt if they want to be included in the family they have to respect our wishes and support their only son. My husband put them in their place it took time ( about a year) but it happened ( they have no other family in Australia). If they want your kids in their life they need to respect you nobodys perfect. My husband pointed out his kids and wife then famly come in that order. Sometimes i think inlaws were put on earth to annoy us, but one day i will be a inlaw for that reason i now try to be nice to mine.