Extremely long rant:- it needs to be said.

15 Comments

It’s funny how no matter what you do as a parent you will be and are criticized. Lets start with size, your baby is small, you’re a bad parent and must’ve done something wrong, you certainly must put weight on that baby (seriously, you want me to force-feed my baby? Yeah get fucked.) You have a big baby, your baby is obese! Stop feeding that baby. (okay so you want the child to starve? Yeah same as above.)

Feeding holy crap feeding!! Breastfeeding, now as my son has always been small someone who shall not be named told me i had no nutrients in my milk!!! But seriously such controversy, how dare you breast feed in public!! Or the, oh you express milk as I would call BOTTLE feed, is always assumed that you have self conscious issues, you lose that attachment. (I don’t need to clear anything, but I lost some feeling of attachment when it was only formula and I was under so much pressure!.)

Oh and formula feeding, either the “oh you formula feed?” Or better yet “you poor thing you can’t breast feed?” Well either way if its a choice or medical reason or it didn’t work for you, why should need to explain that decision?! You don’t! Whatever you do, say it loud, say it proud and fuck the opinions!

Something that I have been criticized on, for ages, no tears theory doesn’t work for my family. Nope (oh so many judgy looks I bet). There’s a limit to when we can let him cry, but seriously my child is safe. I find every time I go to sit down to eat when I NEED to, well he cries, shower time, he cries, need to poo? Oh yeah, he senses it and he WILL cry no doubt. Something a very special person who came into my life taught me that if he’s in a safe space, you know he’s fine, don’t stress. But if you’re like me, or if you choose the no tears strategy (you don’t let your child cry? He/she will be a needy bitch.)

You will be judged, even better, parents, people who never have had or want kids, the media, doctors, everyone WILL judge you. Why?! Why is it necessary to judge people’s parenting? How does this affect you?

Seriously, like I will openly admit, I’m not perfect! Nope! Far from it, but no one is! If that child isn’t neglected (I don’t mean a little crying), being beaten, then what is it to anyone else? I’m seriously so over hearing everyone else’s bullshit. It’s everywhere you look. Any new parent is looking for support, people they can turn to and ask for advice. Key word: ASK.

Want to be told hey, you ARE a good parent, it WILL be okay. Don’t be judging pricks. I’d hate for people to be made to feel the way I was off a LOT of people. This shouldn’t have been the case. I’m thankful for having so many amazing people who have stood up for me, who have helped me when I desperately needed it, for having such an amazing understanding partner, not always you will agree with things of other people’s decision’s but you can suggest nicely and let them know what you’re wanting to do isn’t telling them what to do, but guide them, but if it didn’t work don’t hound them into your beliefs.

I have a baby who is around the 5th percentile, born 3.1 weeks early, I know people focus on how small he is, well he was born under any percentiles’, but his length is at the 70th+ percentile, his head is above that! He is amazing, advancing in aspects well above what any book says he should be. He is a beautiful, happy, healthy boy. I breast-fed, I Expressed, mix fed, and now only formula. My baby cries sometimes, but he is so happy most the time. He doesn’t need someone else’s approval to know how much his daddy and I love him, care for him and want what is and always will be best for him.

He loves us. That’s what matters, that’s the only thing that should matter.

Posted anonymously, 4th June 2015

15 Comments

- - robyn_smithwick said
  - 14 Nov 2015
    7:40 pm
Just tell these nasty people that you are managing extremely well and thanks I do not need any advice and politely ask them to leave the building! Seriously some individuals give me the irrites!!!

- - mom81879 said
  - 26 Sep 2015
    4:06 pm
Wow, as if the whole parenting thing isn’t hard enough, we don’t need others to judge. We know what we are, what we do, what we are capable of and why we do what we do. We all do the best we can, the best for our kids, that’s all we can do!

- - Schmoofie1983 said
  - 18 Jun 2015
    9:35 am
It’s so hard because as new parents you’re at your most vulnerable and just want to hear that you’re doing a good job! We are forever second guessing our decisions anyway that we don’t need strangers to give their two bobs worth. Hang in there, it does get easier, especially as you feel more confident with the decisions you and your husband make. I think in everything, just assume the advice giver means well, and you’re response may be softened a little.

- - mom57522 said
  - 15 Jun 2015
    10:04 pm
When it comes to babies, everyone has an opinion…do what works for you!

- - christial said
  - 12 Jun 2015
    5:00 pm
I agree with you. People seem to try to force their beliefs onto others. It’s not right and actually plain rude. As long as you know you are doing what’s best for your child, that’s all that should matter!

- - Meghannn said
  - 10 Jun 2015
    8:59 am
As long as you and Bub are happy and healthy, don’t worry about others as much as it is upsetting!

- - dannsbuild said
  - 07 Jun 2015
    11:02 pm
Unfortunately there will always be people ready to criticize. Don’t listen to it!

- - EllenG89 said
  - 07 Jun 2015
    7:17 am
It is very true but it is important to remember who cares what others think? As long as your baby is healthy that is all that matters
- mom93821 replied
  
  08 Jun 2015 , 5:26 am
  Good advice ELLENG89. It is far too time consuming to let others into your head and hear their judgments-not worth it!
- - mom56312 said
  - 06 Jun 2015
    4:49 pm
The fact you care so much just proves that you are a good mum, you know whats best for your bubs no one else. Try not to take others to heart and if they annoy you cut them out till they are prepared to be civil. When a kid is premmie they take a little longer to reach the
growth rate people expect. People forget that. You Know that and thats all that matters.

- - mum4107 said
  - 05 Jun 2015
    9:44 pm
You know you are good parents. Try not to let anyone else get to you. I know it’s hard

- - mom93821 said
  - 05 Jun 2015
    9:08 pm
Thanks for sharing your story. People will always judge as it’s a very human thing to do; however; the key is learning how to lessen the impact on you. Luckily you have people that you feel support you. Focus on the positives in your life and enjoy your family.

- - BellaB said
  - 05 Jun 2015
    5:29 pm
I know it’s very hard, but I think you need to learn how to ignore people.

- - mom90758 said
  - 05 Jun 2015
    3:51 pm
I’m sure you are a wonderful mom and your baby sees and feels that. What is good for you, is good for everyone. There will always be people ready to criticize. Let them do. They probably miss something in their lives and they don’t have anything better to do!

- - mom94125 said
  - 05 Jun 2015
    3:21 pm
i know what you mean. it doesn’t matter what YOU do, someone else will always think that they do/know better. Forget it, just do your own thing!