It recently dawned on me that I’m living two lives, it wasn’t a conscious decision and I didn’t see it happening but now here it is and I’m not sure how I feel about it.
I have one beautiful 7 month old boy, during the week he’s home with Dad while I work. On the weekends my husband works and this is my time with kiddo to hang out. We don’t get a lot of family time but we also don’t have the daunting hurdle of childcare so it’s the choice we made. The strange thing is, this set up has split my life into two very separate entities and it’s starting to feel a bit odd.
At work I’m a confident hard hitting manager in a fast paced high stress environment, I have to stay ahead of the game and perform better then the competitors. Which is fine, I’m totally comfortable with this I’ve been doing it for years.
At home I’m a first time mum, bumbling through the day, constantly second guessing what I’m doing and doubting my abilities. My plans never seem to come to fruition and everything happens on baby time. Which I’m actually okay with as well (this took a while)
The scary thing is I feel like two completely different people depending on what environment I’m in, there’s no cross over or similarities at all.
Has anyone else come across this? Or something similar?
Posted by Kelly, 6th May 2015