My decision to leave - Real Mum story on MoM

I was 18 when I fell pregnant, it was grand final day 1989 & it was my first time if you get my drift.

To say I knew this person well is an untruth as I’d only met him one month prior. I decided to have the baby & another one followed, this time planned. The relationship failed 6 months later so the 2 children & I moved house.

I was 21 working 3 days a week, life was good, I was coping most days. I was on the pill as I thought best be on the safe side, 2 children at 21 was enough, my pigeon pair. It wasn’t long before I met a guy & guess what, I fell pregnant, yes on the pill so baby number 3 was on the way so here I was at 22 years old with 3 children under 3 1/2 years & as time proved with a very abusive man both mentally & physically, not just to me but ended up being so towards my 4 year old girl. I was so scared & afraid.

He is what I would call a home devil but a street angel. I should have left him before I even had my 3rd as I was hospitalised (told the doctor the good old story about falling down stairs). Being young I thought back then I can change him, I’ll be good for him but it didn’t stop. He would threaten to leave me, tell me no man will ever want me. I would be constantly covered in bruises, he always made sure they were unseen but the hardest was the mental abuse, this has scarred me somewhat.

I remember thinking this isn’t right, surely men don’t treat their women like this or if they do it’s wrong. Whereas I felt it was my doing I was slowly starting to realise it was nothing I was doing & made a decision to leave. I remember during this time he had banished (his words) me to the baby’s room for 3 weeks as there was a double bed in there so on this particular day he came home from work & after 3 weeks of not even looking at me let alone talking to me he came & put his arm around me.

Ordinarily I would have hugged him back & said sorry, for god knows why I have no idea, but this time I said in the bravest most confident voice I could find, you know how you always threaten me & say you’ll leave, well I don’t make threats, the children & I are leaving tomorrow.

We did. Unbeknownst to him I had organised a removalist van, a rental property, a school for my eldest who was going into prep, a kinder for my middle one & we were outa there.

To say our life improved is an understatement. And so it was from this point on it was the 4 of us, me & my 3 blonde cherubs.

All these years later & now at 42 I am with such an amazing man who was my boyfriend when I was 15 & he calls me & treats me like his princess. We are getting married next year, my children adore him & he treats me with nothing but love even when I don’t deserve it.

I am so glad I made that decision that day as I don’t like to think what may have eventuated if I were to stay.

Posted by sanjipanj, 9th September 2013

13 Comments

- - mom156049 said
  - 09 Feb 2016
    3:10 pm
Congratulations for having the strength and courage to stand up to him and leave. You gave your children and yourself the future you deserve. I hope this story inspires others – all too often people stay in these abusive relationships thinking they will change or that they deserve it. No one deserves to be treated so bad

- - meedee said
  - 13 Apr 2015
    4:25 pm
So wonderful that you found the strength to leave and not just for you but for your kids also.
Funny how things can look so bad but in the long run they turn out to be wonderful. Imagine if you had not leave….odds on you never would have meet back up with the guy you are with now. You had to go through the negative to get to him.

- - crystalangela said
  - 12 Apr 2015
    9:53 pm
Congratulations on your excellent decision to leave. You and your children were worth more. Such an inspiring story for others.

- - nadine_hill said
  - 12 Apr 2015
    5:46 pm
Such a sad story, but kudos to you that you could stand up and face the badness/sadness and are now happy – well done and I wish you all the best!

- - mom90758 said
  - 12 Apr 2015
    5:26 pm
Congratulations on the best decision you have taken in your life!!! You must really be very proud of yourself! You and your children deserved a better life!

- - pplover2013 said
  - 12 Apr 2015
    5:09 pm
How inspiring!! So pleased the story was shared and I had the privilege of being able to read and take strength from her story.

- - mom57522 said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    1:59 pm
You are very strong and brave.

- - BellaB said
  - 02 May 2014
    5:57 pm
So brave, and I’m so glad it’s worked out for you.

- - yoyo70 said
  - 18 Mar 2014
    2:05 pm
Wow, you are a very brave and inspiring woman. Thank you for sharing your deeply personal story with us. You deserve happiness, and I’m so glad you found it.

- - katrey said
  - 10 Sep 2013
    4:03 pm
Wow, you are such a strong and inspiring women.

- - blythangel said
  - 10 Sep 2013
    1:25 pm
This is a sad but also heart warming story. To see no matter what you went through you made it on top. Those children will forever be thankful for you leaving. I understand more then anyone that it is hard but a must to leave. I also understand what mental and emotional abuse can do. I am still trying to over come my father who is just like your ex. May you be blessed for your wedding and your future. Xx

- - SpotstheCat said
  - 10 Sep 2013
    11:46 am
It can be such a difficult choice to make. I’m glad you are in a happy place nowxx

- - suzmuzz said
  - 10 Sep 2013
    10:08 am
Thank you. I hope your story gives other women the courage to leave bad situations.