My experience with anxiety and depression!

12 Comments

Anxiety is not a nice thing to go through especially when you have a new baby and you know you have to leave the house for the babies sake, but what happens when you physically can’t walk out the front door? I’ve been in this situation not long after my first son was born, it made me physically sick to even contemplate leaving the house! I had friends and family wanting to see my new baby and calling over to see us but I couldn’t even let them inside the house, I would hide in my bedroom and pray my son wouldn’t cry or make a noise and let them know i was home! I would hide and hope they would go away i even resorted to sticking a note on my front door saying mother and baby resting so I didn’t have to speak to anyone! I don’t know what had happened, that bright and bubbly girl who loved life so much had completely disappeared, never to return or so i thought. I was a complete mess for about the first 6 months of my sons life I couldn’t go anywhere, I had pushed all of my friends i didn’t mean to i missed them terribly but i just couldn’t talk to them or let them know something was wrong! I couldn’t function properly my husband would try to get me out of the house and whenever he succeeded it was only for a short walk around the block sometimes to the end of the street or to sit on the front step but it felt like I was going to die the every single time. My heart would race, I wouldn’t be able to catch my breathe, my chest was so tight it felt like my heart was going to burst through it, I couldn’t focus properly my eyes felt like they were moving to fast looking for any kind of danger or something anything to justify why I felt like this but every single time once i had done it i would get home and I would be ok, it hadn’t been so bad the sky hadn’t fallen in on me, I didn’t get hit by a car, my son was safe in his pram I was ok!!! And you know what, each time it got easier and easier and thanks to my husband I finally got the professional help i so desperately needed, i was prescribed medication, i seen a counsellor weekly and it kept getting easier until i could finally leave the house without having a panic attack , I could do the groceries without freaking out, I could walk out my front door again and not be afraid I was going to die! If it wasnt for my husbands love and support I don’t think I would ever of beaten this! I still struggle sometimes but I have the tools to help me deal with the anxiety and panic when it arises! I still worry if my anxiety has had an effect on my son as he is very shy and anxious at times around other kids and i cant help but blame myself for this. i wish that depression and anxiety weren’t such taboo topics it is such a common illness and many people will experience it at some point in there lives. We need to be more open about it and know that it is treatable that your not alone and you don’t have to suffer in silence! I hope by sharing my story with you it can help others who are experiencing get the help they deserve because you can beat this!

Posted by belindas, 17th July 2013

12 Comments

- - coastalkaryn said
  - 23 Jan 2016
    12:25 pm
life is a challenging journey at times. sounds like you are doing the right things x don’t isolate yourself, and rest when you need to…

- - 4littlemunchkins said
  - 10 Oct 2015
    10:01 pm
So glad to read you have the support and love to help you make progress.

- - mom113055 said
  - 13 Apr 2015
    12:50 pm
the story is exellent

- - mom57522 said
  - 05 Jan 2015
    10:48 pm
Thank you for sharing your story.

- - 191joannes said
  - 30 Jun 2014
    12:54 pm
Thank you for sharing your story and although I don’t feel like I have depression I just never really want to leave the house either just happy being at home and make a lot of excuses not to go anywhere but I do have to take children to school and ive started to see a councillor because of some personal issues with my partner it really helps to talk to people and I have felt that I don’t want my friends to know whats going on either.

- - bridgwll said
  - 06 Jun 2014
    1:16 pm
The problem with anxiety and depression isn’t that it is taboo it is that most ppl don’t know what it is and don’t know how to help. Fortunately your husband pushed you and then got you the help you needed. I hope you have made contact with your friends again and explained to them what happened.

- - gigi said
  - 21 Jul 2013
    7:01 pm
Thank you. I have anxiety but it isn’t the kind you describe. However I do know a mother of one of my son’s friends, she had that kind of anxiety where she couldn’t leave the house and it went on for several years, and I often felt for how hard it must be for her. So I was really surprised one day to go to the school uniform shop and find her working there, looking happy and ‘normal’. And after that started seeing her at the canteen, the aquatic centre, the supermarket…you would never think it was the same woman! Unfortunately I don’t know what kind of treatment she had. I think I’m trying to say, these things may seem all-encompassing and neverending at the time you are suffering them, but perhaps sometimes there is a light at the end of the tunnel and one day, things will be totally different. People can just change so much.

- - indigoscarlet said
  - 19 Jul 2013
    12:58 pm
Anxiety is such a common thing when you have a baby, yet it can be so debilitating. Thank you for sharing your story.

- - kowhai_erin said
  - 18 Jul 2013
    7:36 pm
Good on you for seeking help in the end, and thanks for sharing your story. I’m also currently working to overcome anxiety and postnatal depression, so its good to read about another mums experience and that you have successfully tackled the issue.

- - taz_za87 said
  - 18 Jul 2013
    1:26 pm
Sounds like how I was after my 1st daughter

- - ginoula5 said
  - 18 Jul 2013
    11:12 am
Belinda thank you so much for sharing your story, I have been in the exact place as you when it comes to anxiety and panic attacks, I’m glad to read you have now found the tools on how to deal with it, it’s a very very scary place to be in when you suffer this….

- - danielle_morrisson said
  - 18 Jul 2013
    12:39 am
Some things aren’t easy to share. Thankyou