Staying Strong to Lead By Example - Real Mum story on MoM

5 Comments

I’m writing this story to share with other mums, but hoping nobody else has such an experience. I have a primary school daughter who has suffered with anxiety for some time. In 2010/2011 we were getting help for her, by my seeing a counsellor for tips and advice, her seeing the School Welfare Officer and attending an excellent 1 day course together which taught us both some handy tools. By the start of 2012 I had a confident young daughter again and thought things were going well.

Sadly, by standing up to a bully at school, things took a downhill turn. The girl’s mother who is disabled, bitter and appears mentally unstable, took it upon herself to turn on my daughter. Other students have also had the wrath of this mother. She harrassed my daughter and other children relentlessly, but sneakily without witnesses (including mouthing foul words at my daughter during assembly). Gradually my daughter’s anxiety levels crept up and up and we are now having a child psychologist work with her to help her get back on track, before starting secondary school next year.

During this whole time I can’t begin to tell you the anger I have felt towards this other mother. How dare she approach other people’s children and mouth foul words at my daughter, etc? I never once took anything out on her daughter. Somehow, I stayed strong and true to my values and beliefs. I sought help and advice from the principal and others. Despite my flight or fight instincts trying to get me to approach this mother and let her have a piece of my mind, I managed enough control to keep myself on the right path. I was getting worn down and tired of it all by the start of this year though and wondered how much longer I could keep strong.

My beliefs that one day she would be caught out publicly with plenty of witnesses came true a few weeks ago. Now we haven’t seen her on the school grounds for some time and what a happier environment it has been. Even the principal who has been wonderful in dealing with this dreadful situation seems more relaxed.

The most important thing I have taken from this whole experience is that I stayed strong and lead my children by example. I showed them conflictive or abusive language and/or violence is never the answer and following the correct paths in life can eventually lead to a happy outcome. My daughter has improved already and has been told if she could survive all of that she can survive anything!

Posted by jayella, 27th April 2013

5 Comments

- - cairnsbliss said
  - 22 Jan 2015
    10:22 pm
Wow. There really are some awful people out there. Glad to hear your both feeling better and you stuck to your guns and did what you knew was best.

- - fruitwood said
  - 02 Jun 2014
    2:51 pm
I take my hat off to you for keeping so cool, calm & collected. My daughter experienced a similar thing after a falling out with a child at school. The mother of that child and her school mum friends turned on my child. I even read things this mother had posted about my child on facebook. We ended up changing schools as our way of dealing with the situation, though it should never have come to that.
- mom57522 replied
  
  27 Dec 2014 , 3:07 pm
  Parents behaving badly! They should be ashamed picking on a kid.
- - mel1 said
  - 30 Apr 2014
    7:32 pm
I hope things have improved for your daughter. She’s lucky to have such a great mum. Unfortunately the children of that other women are not so lucky.Hopefully she has received the help she needs and things are better for her too.

- - aussiemum said
  - 06 Apr 2014
    2:33 pm
It’s been almost a year since you posted this story. How have things gone for your daughter? As my children get older, I’m noticing that the parents are the ones that often create the problems and impart their judgemental beliefs. Well done on keeping your cool, I don’t know if I could be so composed in your situation.