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I have slowly come to the realisation that alcohol and I do not have a great relationship. I love it. It hates me. Unfortunately, over the years it has become a bit of a ‘reward’ or a ‘stress release’ after a hard day and when the kids were little especially, I was known to open a bottle when I was cooking dinner (and I’d start cooking their dinner at 4pm somedays!).

About 2 months ago, I had a particularly bendy bender with a friend as we had a weekend free of our ‘Mum’ responsibilities. True to form, I swore that I was never drinking again when I woke up the next morning. But strangely, I haven’t wanted to drink since then at all. Normally I would last a week or two and then a friend would come over and I’d open a bottle out of habit. This time is different. Drinking alcohol just doesn’t appeal to me any more and I’m happy to say that I feel and look better as a consequence.

However, I am currently being tested on that resolution. At a weak moment, we agreed to have a holiday with my mother-in-law and at the moment I am hiding in my bedroom pretending to be asleep! I know that she loves my husband and children, but the constant criticism of me is wearing thin. The last time we saw her, she wrestled a vegetable peeler out of my hands because I was peeling a cucumber the wrong way. This was an hour after she unpegged my clothes from the line and showed me how to re-peg them ‘properly’. You name it, I am doing it the wrong way! My husband is fabulous and intervenes when he sees these things happening (and has spoken to her separately on a number of occasions), but my usual coping mechanism of a glass of wine is no longer an option. So if anyone has any way of getting me through the next few days with a little dignity and class, I’d love your input (I’m a big believer in my husband dealing with his family and me with mine if there’s ever any conflict, so I will not cause tension unnecessarily).

If you can offer some suggestions for getting through that first hour at a party alcohol free that would be also greatly appreciated and put into my alcohol-free arsenal.

Thanks you!


Posted by aussiemum, 12th April 2014


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  • Alcohol ruined my life. I was addicted since my first drink at 15, and over the years I lost so many friends, things and almost died. I’m so happy now that I no longer want to drink and realise the damage it did and would do if I drank again. It makes me sick thinking about it. Maybe try thinking about how badly it would affect you if you drink. Every time your mother-in-law tests your patience, remember that you’d only be hurting yourself if you drink and you don’t deserve to hurt because of HER behaviour. Don’t let her win! Best of luck.

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  • Engage in conversation with lots of people, particularly people you haven’t seen in a while; there will be a million things to talk about

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  • Interesting comments on this! Non- alcoholic cocktails sound good!

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  • I am an ‘accidental’ drunk. I always set out intending to only have a couple. Sometimes it works, sometimes I’m accidentally drunk. Alcohol and I don’t see eye to eye either, which is good…… Buuuuuut :(

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  • top story to read great

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  • nice story to have a read

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  • I agree. I hate conflict, and if there ever is any HTB delas with his family and I do mine. I just bite my tongue and deal with it while they are around, and express my feelings to HTB when they/we go. HTB is really good and intervenes when he sees things happening too….but we all have feelings don’t we? as well as different opinions and ways of doing things….what works for one person doesn’t always work the same for another.

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  • MIL can be the worst. So sorry you have to put up with it. It is hard to be patient.

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  • You can get some great non alcoholic cocktails these days, that way you are still drinking something difference and special but without the hangover!

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  • In terms of getting through the first hour at a party alcohol free, you could offer to be the designated driver of a few of the people attending, that way you will feel a sense of responsibility in getting the people home and hopefully won’t drink. Just an idea. Or have something like lemon, lime and bitters so you still feel like you are having a nice drink without the alcohol.

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  • Just think, this time next week it will be over. That’s the way I use to cope. But your mother in law sounds alot worse that mine ever was. You are doing so well remaining so calm, I believe the same as my husband should be the one getting involved with his family rather than me. I never said anything to my mother in law, I just had to take it. I wish you all the best and try to keep smiling.

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  • It might help to vent by writing it down. It gets it out of your system and then throw it away. By throwing it away you are letting go.

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  • My mother in law would drive me to drink if I went on holiday with her.

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  • I don’t drink alcohol at parties. I find a glass of soft drink and some party food, more than fills the void. Good luck with your MIL. I also struggle with my inlaws.

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  • all I can say is smile but in your head think what ever you need to. You may find if you smile and if she says your not doing something right let her show you and than thank her very much for taking the time to show you what you were doing wrong as when you get home you can do everything your way no matter what she thinks

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