Stopping helicoptering - Real Mum story on MoM

11 Comments

I recently decided after a few people telling me my son isn’t a baby anymore to make a concerted effort to stop helicopter parenting him. I think initially I began to be that way because he had so many illnesses as a bub, toddler and small boy. An article written on here really resonated with me about loving your children enough to not make them the centre if your word, and it talked about an over sensitised generation etc. I realised at times I’m guilty of that. My son is an only child, and has been through a bit so it was easy for me to fall into the trap of helicoptering. I’m currently finding a happy medium. This week he has been on a camp that is almost a couple of hours away. It is an outdoor adventure camp and he has been there twice in the summer whilst in his father’s care. I decided that because they know his allergies to eggs and nuts and they are not as severe as they used to be and his asthma is well controlled that it was time to cut the apron strings and let my boy be a boy. I feel I have done the best thing for him and for me. He is old enough now that he actually really knows how to take care of his conditions and the staff are all highly trained. My boy has become quite mature and has dealt with his conditions for that long he reads the back of labels and manages his asthma. It was high time I caught up with him and let him spread his wings a little. Leaving him was daunting, but he certainly didn’t suffer separation anxiety lol. I feel emancipated in my new found decisions, as I believe it was more about me letting my one and only baby grow up. I think also I need to sort if start living my life a bit, as much as I will always put his needs first.

Posted anonymously, 10th July 2014

11 Comments

- - mom71809 said
  - 02 Jun 2015
    8:55 pm
It’s always hard to step back and even moreso (I imagine) if they had a rough start in life like with your son’s case allergies and asthma. Congrats to you!

- - mom113055 said
  - 27 Apr 2015
    12:01 pm
nice to read stories on this great site

- - mom56842 said
  - 20 Sep 2014
    7:03 pm
Never heard that term before, however it’s called good parenting, why listen to what other people want you to do.

- - Kelly said
  - 26 Jul 2014
    5:47 pm
I think they are many parents out there and some that wouldnt admit that they helicopter parent their children.
Im sure its just in every womans nature to make sure that their children are safe at all times no matter what age they are.
Guess its just being a mum

- - damish70 said
  - 13 Jul 2014
    2:47 pm
I’m a helicopter parent for my 11yr old but not my 4.5yr old. I was a nervous wreck as he attended his first camp because he’s has fine & gross motor skills problems.Thank goodness he hasn’t got allergies like your child.It was good that I let him go as he’s come back as a more confident child

- - BellaB said
  - 12 Jul 2014
    8:26 pm
I think this is an ongoing challenge – you have to deal with it repeatedly as they grow up.

- - kathryn said
  - 12 Jul 2014
    6:24 pm
It can be so hard especially when they are an only child. I am lucky that mine is still quite young because I am also a bit of a helicopter parent. I am taking little steps now but I can tell it will be hard for me.

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 11 Jul 2014
    10:49 am
Thanks guys for your lovely comments. I’m off to pick him up today. One of the best things is there has been pretty much no screens at all during this holiday period. For the first week school holiday program as I was working, second week the camp that doesn’t allow people to take electronics. We have even stopped it on car trips. One day I walked in to the after school care and they were playing a quiz and I found my son shares my love for quizzes as well. We now play a game in the car where we ask each other questions like “what is the capital of Australia?” Etc. The time just flies.
- mom57522 replied
  
  29 Oct 2014 , 9:06 pm
  I really love your idea of car quizzes! That’s something I’m going to start doing on our car trips.
- - arcticwynta said
  - 11 Jul 2014
    2:31 am
children will surprise you as to just how well they can handle the hand they were dealt with in life and it is always better than we think or ever gave them credit for until you take that step back and allow them to be a child that can do things with out you but they will in your heart always be your baby and that will never change….I know I still call my youngest my baby when speaking to people and that will never change in my heart and my mind and deep down he does love that I still call him that

- - pakeko said
  - 10 Jul 2014
    8:14 pm
What you have written is very wise words, I have a 12 year old with many health issues one of the best things I have done for her is cut the strings. Yes it is hard and yes there are days I wish I could just wrap her up. This is not going to teach her anything and it is not how the real world works. Well done to you