The last .......my mother hated me with a passion

13 Comments

Dad has died the date is 29 th sep he had only turned 60 on the 23 rd of June that year 1999..wow
Christmas. 1999 mum has a boy friend good for her. She is caring on like a really naughty 16 year old. It’s really embarrassing. Need to speak too her…
I decide to invite her out for the weekend. And I am taking to my hair dressier to have her hair done ..
Omg she is telling my hair dresser all about her sex life her new boy friend and how he uses oil and feathers. Wtf is that all about .. Please mum this is rather embarrassing .. Oh they say stop being a prude omg…
My hair dresser says to me don,t I want my mother to be happy … Well yes I do ,but some things need to stay at home … Oh don,t be silly if your happy and you should share … Yes well sorry but I think a bit different ..
When we get back to my place I have a talk to mum about her having a shower with her boyfriend when my hubby and me where staying and the way she was talking at the hair dressiers not good. .. My mother woman where looking and not good looks … Okay. It really was very tacky .. Oh she screams at me that I,m Jellious..
That’s one thing I,m not. ,I have an amazing hubby … Yeah right. He is not a hubby he is your lap toy that’s all .. Okay if that’s what you think ..,she was really screaming at me .. I asked if she wanted to talk instead of screaming … No she was leaving she was staying where she was no respected ,,, fine we’ll you got that right … She left .. That was 14 years ago …
Mum ended up moving in with her boy friend she sold her house here in Sydney and off she went to the country to a place called Delegate down on the vic border .. Yep bye mum…
Mum died late last year. She left a beautiful letter letting me know how she hated me so ..
She left everything to my sister .. I was not to be given a cent. No one red cent …
Find I do not need it .. I was to be given all my gifts back. . Well that was not going to happen
My sister said how was she to know I gave certain things to mum…
No find.. What ever I gave them to her. And if they mean that much to you keep them. Bye ..
I have four real sisters. And people ask how many. I say one ,, as my other two I have not heard from in 15 years now. My sister let me know ,while I was in rehab for a knee replacement that mum died …
And when dad died mum had him cremated his ashes where scattered over a pond in Sydney .. I had been going in there for 14 years. Every year. Now my sister and her letter state my dad was never put there she scattered him under the lemon tree then sold the house .. No marker no nothing .. She scattered him over the place they buried the dog … Omg my father was thrown away like rubbish. Omg … She state. Every year on dads birthday she would smile. She is making the trip again…
It was her way of paying me back for not liking lorry .. Well the man smelt of stale smoke .. And always had a beer in his hand .. When your married like I am to a not drinker. And dad was a none drinker it was very hard to take … My mother was a beautiful woman. Dad never let her go without .. Towards the end she was a puss pot .. What’s really said she had three great grand children on my side. She never meet not one .. She was not interested .. She had been told. About them.by my Aunty. And my aunty said to me one day. A shorty that went like this… Mum. So have you seen Elizabeth. Oh yes. .. I bet she misses me … My aunt. Oh I don,t know she is to busy with her grand kids. They are her sunshine .. She loves those kids spends heaps of time with those kids. Nothing is to much trouble .. I think she is a better grand mother than she was a parent .. Maybe because she is more grown up … ..mum. …. But does she ever ask about me … My aunt no never …
My aunt was in the middle so I never asked … When mum was sick and dying I never contacted her .. For different reasons. .. Life is to short … Mum is gone now. .. She died hating me . I do not care .. Because I remember her saying to me. Remember anything can have a litter that does not make it a good mother… A mother protects and loves her children above all else ..,she taught me that when my daughter was born .35 years ago. I remember it … My family come first above all else ..and yes my grand children come first .. My grand son to my son is autistic. Not really bad. But bad enough he needs a special class .. My grand daughter that’s 9 is a diabetic. ,, and has a pump .. And my daughter. Four was born with out a bottom .. So her reconstruction is not doing what they thought so they are going to be putting a bag on her in April she will be four in June .. Her bag is for life .. We got a new grand so. On the 23 rd dec .. He is fine at the moment. We will see… No my grand kids are not perfect. Each one has a little dent. But I love them all very dearly ..
Life can be cruel but you need to look through it and find your happiness
Do not get me wrong I have cried and cried over dad and what she has done … I can. Not change it .. But why did she hate me so. …I will never understand. And hate me she did ,..

Posted by liz007, 21st March 2015

13 Comments

- - mum888 said
  - 03 Jan 2016
    8:10 am
My mother can be verbally abusive when she can’t cope and it is important that we never take responsibility for someone’s behaviour and reflect it back on yourself. I think it has only been the last few years ( and doing a short psychology course helped ) that I started to accept myself and other people as IT IS and it is amazing how peaceful life can be if you allow that to happen . It is great your current family is a happy one now , enjoy it .

- - Flackstar said
  - 30 Mar 2015
    6:37 pm
This makes me wanna hug my parents.

- - aweesa said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    4:41 pm
Reading your story is like de ja vu for me but with my father in law. At least your mother didn’t have another baby at 56 with the 4th person he has dated in 2 years after being married for 30 years to the same person. Then having nothing to do with his kids unless he wants something!Families can suck that’s why i surround myself with the best friends in the world!

- - mom94125 said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    3:53 pm
oh that is incredibly sad to read. i have tears right now. it must have been so hard for you. especially coming from your own mother. It feels like, in every way that she could be spiteful to you, she has been. I am so sorry that this was your experience. At least this behaviour has stopped with you and your children and grandchildren know nothing but love from you. Your mother’s behaviour reflects on her NOT YOU!

- - jenniw said
  - 24 Mar 2015
    11:36 am
That is so sad but you are on the right track embracing your children and grandchildren. I agree with MOM93821 also… it will help you to move on by talking to a counselor.

- - liz007 said
  - 23 Mar 2015
    9:39 pm
Thank you everyone. My life has changed for ever. I have no marker for my dad I feel robbed. But dad will always be with me in my heart. No one can take that away from me … My mother use to say a cat can have a litter that does not make her a good mum.. How true her words where for her self … I have great friends a hubby that loves me .. It’s time for a new me a new chapter in my life
- ashblonde replied
  
  27 Mar 2015 , 10:12 am
  Though you have been hurt in your past it sound’s like you have your own loving family that means the world to you. It definitely seems like it was your mother’s loss in the end. Have you thought about having a memorial plague in your own garden for your Dad, at least that would be a place you could remember him by.
- - cherz said
  - 22 Mar 2015
    9:48 pm
I agree with MOM93821. You have poured out your heart but I feel you are still hurting, your parents are gone now and you need to move on, speaking with a counsellor will help to smooth and strengthen.

- - robyn_smithwick said
  - 22 Mar 2015
    7:09 pm
This is such a sad state of affairs! My darling mother or mum was my best friend as well as my mum! I still miss her so much She was taken from me when I was in my I was 34 and I still feel I was robbed! Darling dad lost the love of his life and lived till he was just over 80. My dearest darling mum was only 57 when she died of cancer. But believe me I know how families can break up forever because of one nasty greedy avarice person on my hubby’s side. My kids hate this person and refuse to even acknowledge that he exists!

- - mom93821 said
  - 22 Mar 2015
    5:05 am
Sometimes it can be hard and even impossible to understand other people and their actions. Reconciling with the past and moving forward with your future is a positive action for you and your family. I would suggest talking with a counsellor about any unresolved feelings as you still sound wounded by your past.

- - curlytops said
  - 21 Mar 2015
    10:47 pm
it is sad, but you are doing the right thing by embracing your family and kids and grand kids as family is everything.

- - BellaB said
  - 21 Mar 2015
    6:39 pm
I really don’t know what to say, except to offer sympathy.

- - kelc said
  - 21 Mar 2015
    3:38 pm
This is such a sad story and I’m sorry you had to go through all of that xx
I think the most beautiful thing to come from all of this is your love for your kids and your grand children xx And I’m sure your Dad is up their smiling down on you and so proud of you and the life you’ve led x