The most hated conversation with kids - drugs and alcohol.

17 Comments

Even though my child is a baby, my partner and I feel that it is necessary thing to discuss with each other how we are going to handle this, I feel like talking of experiences (NO JUDGMENT), my partner was a heavy pot abuser for many years and myself I used it a few times, with alcohol I had a drink for the first time at 13 and drunk first time at 14, I actually became a really bad alcohol abuser a few years ago, this lasted maybe a year and a half, thanks to meeting my gorgeous fiance. He used pot from 8yrs of age and alcohol from I think 10.. We both also smoke (quitting really soon!! Yay!) which neither of these ages are acceptable to me, I think about it and think wow we were just kids!!! I know there is a high possibility in today’s society that drugs and alcohol will be an influence at some stage in life, but I really don’t want him ever touching drugs (mum things haha), although recognising the possibility we find when it would be age appropriate and or when he seems to have a slight interest of sitting him down and discussing what our experiences are, considering I have mental illnesses and it’s a family trait on both sides, plus addictive personalities are high in both families, we want to explain the good, the bad and everything in-between, using both experiences as a way to show him how things can plan out, that it could offset his triggers for mental illness. But also I think it’s important to let him know, no matter if I think it’s a bad idea or not that he can always talk to me, if he does something I want him to tell me and if he’s planning on it I want to know where and when.. Just incase of horrendous experiences that I can help him as I had some but couldn’t confide in my parents. Have you explained it to your children, or have an idea how you would? I would love to hear what everyone is going and or have done relating this topic. Also what age do you plan on talking about it? Or when did you talk about it?

Posted anonymously, 19th June 2015

17 Comments

- - mum888 said
  - 18 Jan 2016
    11:50 am
I think it is great you are already being very vigilant about this subject and addiction is very common . We were fortunate the kids school had people come in for talks and now that my daughter is driving , I warn her about drinking and driving and all the hard work will be wasted if ever caught . Being honest with your experiences is the best teaching method and I am sure it will go well for you . Probably start when the child knows what “listening ” is as I think it is a bit pointless if they are too young to focus attention on anything .

- - mom165081 said
  - 11 Nov 2015
    1:22 pm
Ours is 8 years old and we have always been open with discussions on this topic – at around 3 years old she wanted to have “wine” with dinner once when out with family – it wasn’t the alcohol at all that she wanted but rather the “pretty glass”. Be open, be honest and be prepared for some interesting moments along the way. Kids copy what they see – only the other day our neighbours were playing with our childs play kitchen – a 2 year old wanted to play mummy, so picked up a stemmed glass and said now she had a wine she was mummy (so glad mine never said that!!!)

- - mom81879 said
  - 08 Sep 2015
    6:41 pm
I actually never had a specific conversation about them. It’s something we talked about regularly, whenever it comes up. It’s a very important conversation to have but can be difficult.

- - christial said
  - 28 Jun 2015
    9:40 pm
This is a hard one. There is no right or wrong age to bring it up. I think it depends on the community he is growing up in and how much exposure he will be getting to drugs and alcohol.

- - lepumpkinhead said
  - 25 Jun 2015
    3:50 pm
Yes, open and honest is perfect, I like to make it so my daughter (and soon my son) feels comfortable enough to come to me if they need to talk about anything.

I did not in fact raise the conversation with my daughter, it was something she started when she saw an ad from the government on TV, to be honest she was only 4 at the time, and as time has gone on occasionally asks for a little more information (she is now 9). She asked “Mum what are drugs?”. I then explained about different types of drugs and the bad effects they can have. As I said I was open and honest and recently she has asked, what should I do if someone at school asks me about drugs which opened more dialogue.

I know here in SA the government recently (last year I think) sent out booklets about how to talk to your kids about drugs, look online and see if there is anything you can get sent to you to help. Good luck.

- - mrsgreen12 said
  - 22 Jun 2015
    12:47 pm
I agree, Be open and honest

- - curlytops said
  - 21 Jun 2015
    7:12 pm
Being open and honest is a good start as you can speak from experience and how it affected you (especially the negative sides) and also be open on all topics. Also around year 6/ 7 our school does quite a lot in the way of projects with drugs and alcohol and also talks etc too with the kids for extra support through out high school with external specialists coming in doing small workshops with the kids etc. Good luck and I think it is great that you are having these conversations at the moment in preparation.

- - Mummybaking said
  - 21 Jun 2015
    1:38 am
Thank you all, I think you all have excellent ideas that can help me in the future and for amazing support and encouragement <3
- mom93821 replied
  
  21 Jun 2015 , 6:10 am
  You are very welcome and I am pleased that moms have helped in some way with advice and support. Again, good luck!
- - mom93821 said
  - 20 Jun 2015
    3:11 pm
Communication is key in discussing these issues and being open and honest with kids is important. Ensuring any discussions are age appropriate and aimed at the child’s age and understanding. Maybe invest in some good age appropriate books on these topics too as these can be useful tools too. Discussion and books both help with tackling these issues. Good on you for being proactive!
- mom57522 replied
  
  21 Jun 2015 , 10:15 pm
  Age appropriate information and discussion is a very good point.
- - mom94125 said
  - 20 Jun 2015
    2:15 pm
yes definately make him feel comfortable in talking to you. You might be able to curb a lot of interest right there.

- - EllenG89 said
  - 20 Jun 2015
    10:02 am
You sure have some great ways of tackling this important issue. I also admire that you are planning on using truth and experience to tell the tale.

- - mum4107 said
  - 20 Jun 2015
    6:42 am
Something I will be doing when my little one is older

- - Naomi said
  - 19 Jun 2015
    9:54 pm
Sounds like you have some great strategies and ideas for those tough conversations. We will be definitely having these talks too. But I’m hoping the discussion on alcohol/drugs starts as small parts of conversation over their childhood. Like if we see something on TV we’ll chat about what drugs are and the consequences of taking them.
Leading by example is the biggest impact we leave. So we drink a glass of wine on special occasions and at social/family events but I never want to get drunk or have my children see me drink excessively. When we do drink we will talk about why – it is an adult social occurrence – and why we don’t do it everyday as well as consequences. So the conversation will likely be lots of little conversations when we see am opportunity.
The other big topic to have a chat about is sexual intimacy!

- - mom94125 said
  - 19 Jun 2015
    7:43 pm
i will be talking about this when they get into highschool. It is a difficult subject but we have to guide them and educate them.

- - BellaB said
  - 19 Jun 2015
    4:35 pm
I think it’s important to lay groundwork early, so that you don’t have just one talk. It’s got to be ongoing.