As a young girl you pace the floors of your parents home pushing that beloved rag doll in your pink dolls pram. “When I grow up I’m going to be a mummy” you often tell your mother. Lovingly feeding and changing your baby doll you know that having your own babies will be the greatest achievement in the world. And it is, except that you don’t realise the reality until the DAY you become a parent! Even at 19 when I was 9 months pregnant I had NO idea what I was in for.
When your expecting your first baby you read all the books, attend all the pre-natal classes and dream of the amazing moment your baby will arrive. You learn how to bath a baby, feed a baby, burp a baby, change a baby. You think you know it all. And then the day comes. Your precious little bundle is placed in your arms and that’s it. No manual to tell you what to do. And you are thrown into a world of sleepless nights (sleep? What’s that?), boobs that feel like they’ve been attacked by piranhas, washing, washing and more washing, trackies and vomit stained shirts (or maybe that’s just 3 day old breast milk). Lovely well wishers that “know it all”. In my case not my mil but my partners nan. (She had 12 kids! I only had one). And of course the number one thing I was not expecting…
Dirty nappies. Yes we all know that these beautiful little creatures eat, sleep, cry and poop. In fact have you ever noticed that a new mother becomes obsessed with poop? What colour, how many times and my favourite (gag) the explosive poops. The ones that seem to be from one and to the other! I remember when my daughter was around three weeks old. I entered her room to be witness to the biggest poop I’ve ever seen. An almost 2 foot long poop! I was about to call my partner in to be witness to the monstrous creation our daughter had done. Then I realised that WAS my daughter! Covered head to toe. 2 packets of wipes, a bath, two towels and a can of air freshener later. I can safely say my daughter and her room were once again back to normal. I on the other hand was changed forever!
Then you hit the terrible twos. (Though I’m quite certain it’s the terrible two’s, terrible teens and terrible twenty-twos.) You now have a mini version of a police force negotiator. Or is that world champion of the universal debating team? Oh and don’t forget the bartering! Here mum, you have my ball and I’ll take that delicious sandwich you’ve been waiting all day to eat! And if you think the poop business has finished, you’re wrong. So wrong! Now you have toilet training and if your as lucky as me you may even find the wall painted one day. Nope that’s NOT chocolate.
And it’s for some at this time you think “oh it might be time to have another little poop monster!” And if you’re wondering….Yes I went on to have three more! Yep, that’s right. I have four. I now spend every day hearing ” oh my, you have your hands full.How do you cope?” Because don’t you know three is normal. Four or more is just madness!
Being a parent is hard, dirty work. But it’s also the most rewarding and exciting adventure to ever have. Being able to see that sweet innocent smile under a face full of chocolate cake, playing in the garden blowing bubbles, cuddles on the lounge watching “Frozen” for the millionth time. Receiving one of those sweet handmade Mother’s Day gifts that now take up your entire bedside table draws. Hearing “I love you mum” for the very first time. And one of the best tasks. Tucking those sweet babies into bed at the end of an exciting fun filled day. Holding those sweet little hands and knowing you are blessed to have such beautiful children.
And as they grow you get to watch them blossom into the beautiful people you had hoped they would become. One day it will be their turn to dive into the world of nappies, feeding, washing and debating. But for now you get to enjoy the sleepless nights, the sore boobs, the washing, the maternity clothes that you still wear 12 months later and of course the dreaded poop. Because its all worth it. Parenting is NOT hard work, dirty yes, challenging yes but not hard work. In fact it’s not WORK at all. You do these thing because you love them. You wanted them. You treasure them. Good times and bad.
And so get back to watching your little girl pave up and down pushing her little rag doll in her pink dolls pram and lovingly attending to her baby.
She wants to grow up to be a mummy like you. Because of you. She knows you take care of her, treasure her and do everything for her out of pure love. And when it’s her turn for her own little poop monster you know she’ll do fine. Just as you have. New blog on www.autismdiary.blog.com
Posted anonymously, 18th February 2015