What more can I say? husbands! - Real Mum story on MoM

15 Comments

A husband may as well be a third child but so much worse. Maybe its just me I don’t know but as of late I feel like I have 3 children rather then 2 children and a husband and it’s getting worse! My husband has a learning disability and when taking his hand in marriage just over 2 years ago I knew things were tough and always would be but they seem to either be getting worse or just getting to me more. First up he doesn’t have a license he is over mid 20’s and he doesn’t drive, he has no interest and doesn’t want his license but I can’t do it all! I drop my eldest at day care, then I drop hubby at work then back home to feed baby, clean the house, do the washing, prep dinner by time all of this is done bam back down to hubby’s work to pick him up ( he only works 8 hours a week) then back home again. After getting home i then have to wash hubby’s uniform and peg that out, bring in the other load from earlier, fold it up, put it away, make up an afternoon snack, feed baby and then it’s off to the daycare to get my eldest. Back home it’s making dinner and feeding everyone, bathing the children, putting eldest to bed, doing dishes another clean up because we all know the toddler tornado has just been through, I try fit in a workout most days followed by a shower. By this time it’s close to 10pm hubby is either outside looking through his damn telescope, asleep or on his phone… (This is all he does!!!) I then feed bubba one last time before bed down he goes, easily thank goodness! I get in bed and then I have forgotten something. Asleep by 11:30pm most days. 2 am most mornings the toddler that is still in our bed wakes and chucks a tantrum because I’ve looked at him. Back to sleep with him while I lay there and try switch my brain off, if I’m lucky I get to sleep around 4am… Then comes the 5am wake up call, bubba wants a bottle… Finishes about 6am, up shower toddler wakes, breakfast and in the car again to start the day. Hubby doesn’t help with a dam thing on his days off he is more of a hindrance then anything else.we have no intimacy going on 14months now and we share no affection. I don’t feel love anymore and more often the not I justfeel anger. What can I do I ask myself everyday but I just put it off and think I will just make it through until tomorrow… One day it will change I hope. I feel like a whinge and a drag but we all need an outlet right?

Posted anonymously, 1st January 2015

15 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 28 Jan 2017
    9:28 pm
Wow, I’m amazed you do all that on you’re own! And you’re still with your hubby. I hope things have changed for you now

- - mom81879 said
  - 12 Sep 2015
    6:37 pm
Goodness me, reading your overly jam packed days, I dont think you’re whinging at all. I think you truly deserve to complain. Can’t hubby catch the bus? He should stop least be helping out around the house more, with the kids. A learning difficulty doesn’t cancel him out of life altogether. Maybe if some of the workload, the pressure load, your relationship might improve. Then again, maybe it’s over and you just need to decide to pull the plug

- - mom113055 said
  - 27 Apr 2015
    12:16 pm
nice to read stories on this great site

- - smiles said
  - 25 Apr 2015
    9:15 pm
You sound like an amazing mother! Mouth of mums is a great place to vent. I hope things are getting better for you. Do you have any other family support? Is the bus an option for hubby to take to work which may save you dropping him off and picking him up?

- - mom113055 said
  - 21 Apr 2015
    1:39 pm
this story is good

- - kymichelle said
  - 01 Feb 2015
    11:35 am
Yes – we do all need an outlet! I love that we can come here to MoMs and safely vent and also know we are not alone!

- - mom103936 said
  - 08 Jan 2015
    2:55 pm
So sorry this sounds so overwhelming. I dont blame u at all for being upset and annoyed.
I think you should really sit down with him and explain you are just exhausted and can not do it anymore. He needs to help too and share in the chores.
It is his household as well.
Sometimes it helps to have a vent.
Good luck

- - ashblonde said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    3:21 pm
You mentioned your husband has a learning disabilitity & that could affect his ability to focus on ways he could help you around the house. Try giving him a simple list of things to do that can reduce your work load even if you have to show him how to do it at first. Fortunately the babies will grow up & your sleep will improve but you need a bit of ME time also. Good Luck!
- mom57522 replied
  
  12 Jan 2015 , 7:33 pm
  Good point! Maybe hubby needs it spelled out to him in CAPITAL LETTERS!
- - mom67195 said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    10:41 am
Oh you poor thing. I thought my hubby was like another child – until I read your story. I feel for you. Maybe at the end of each day take some time out for yourself – and read a good book or just listen to the radio?

- - pakeko said
  - 06 Jan 2015
    9:45 pm
Wow you have every right to vent, time to let the hubby now what is going on is not ok. Good luck with that and please take care off yourself

- - matildaspice said
  - 06 Jan 2015
    4:10 pm
You sound exhausted which can make the situation even more overwhelming. Can you give your husband specific, consistent tasks to help you lighten your load?

- - BellaB said
  - 04 Jan 2015
    12:54 am
Absolutely, have a whinge, but this sounds like a situation that needs to change. Perhaps marital counselling would wake him up a bit?

- - mummamj said
  - 02 Jan 2015
    3:32 pm
Definitely talk to your husband. My fiance at times does make it feel like I also have a third child. I find that talking to him about it does help, asking for help (because as he tells me he can’t read minds) and cooperating to get tasks done. Speak to him about getting a drivers licence stating the benefits like he can drive himself to work and also drop your oldest son off to daycare. If he won’t maybe get him to consider a bicycle. It can be an economic way of getting around and doesn’t require a licence. Most importantly don’t bottle up all your feelings until you reach breaking point as it won’t do anyone any good. Good luck

- - mom94125 said
  - 01 Jan 2015
    8:18 pm
you should talk to your hubby and ask for a little help. sometimes you need to remind them that you never get to knock off your job and any help is appreciated.