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Has anyone else had a distasteful experience with siblings after a parent has died? My partners family completely fractured after his mum died, all because she wanted to leave her house and 7 acres to my partner. There is another 93 acres that was also to sold and divided amongst the other siblings. Alas, my mother in law didn’t get to do a will of her choice, so none of this is happening. My eldest sister in law took mil to see a lawyer (of SILs choice!) and he told mil she couldn’t do her will like that as it would cause too much friction with her surviving children. So she had to agree to having the whole lot sold and divided amongst all the kids. And still the 2 eldest daughters carried on. One is an executor, mil has been gone 10 years this month and her estate still isn’t settled. We’ve sought legal advice and been told the executor isn’t fulfilling her duties. She isn’t maintaining the property and isn’t keeping all beneficiaries aware of what’s going on. She’s racking up costs that she’s charging to the estate, for her financial benefit. What can we do? Nothing really unless we pay $1000s to take it to court. So sil can keep going making herself money, mil didn’t even nominate this sil as an executor, she was appointed after mils death. We have got the lawyer to send a letter requesting information, which has been ignored, so another letter is on the cards, at a cost of $300 each. Lawyers aren’t cheap! It’s so wrong! They have no respect or love for their dead mum or her wishes, and yet money is the only thing that can stop them :,(


Posted by mom81879, 10th November 2015


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  • yeah it is a hard time but people go crazy about things rather than the fact that their loved one has passed.

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  • this is just terrible for siblings to fight like this. at the end of the day they should have honoured your mil wishes and not be so concerned with money and property

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  • Hope your next letter got you some answers?

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  • Sorry to hear it isnt going how it should. All i can say is Karma will catch up with the SIL soon enough. Do what you can to get it settled for everyones wellbeing and happiness. I am surprised it has taken so long for this to happen, money can bring the worsed out in people. I would also ask your lawyer if there is a clause in the will that could be causing the delay…

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  • A very messy family situation – unfortunately these situations can bring out the worst in some people. Not sure of how you can resolve this issue.

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  • Estates are very messy without a will – and a current will at that. Really feel for your situation as it happens all too often. When it comes to wills and estates, the happy family that the testator thought existed disappears (or rather, harsh reality kicks in). Hope there is something left after all the legal fees and other expenses.

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  • They all knew their mums wishes but chose to ignore them for their own financial gains. Even down to funeral details, they were just so heartless. Mil chose to have her ashes scattered, yet they are locked up in the cemetery wall with a plaque. A plaque that doesn’t even have her correct birthdate and has one sister missing. The eldest sil went into mils house after her death and completely cleaned it out. The other siblings basically got what was left over after the ‘chosen’ ones had taken what they wanted. We had lots of personal items there that were not returned to us. We were given electricals with cords missing, a VCR that had no remote which is necessary to tune it, pots with no lids, CD sets that only had half the set, mils dressing table (my son was stoked with that) but the mirror was smashed. It is heartbreaking and can’t be stopped unless we have loads of money, and we don’t. When I think about it, I cry for my mil and then get angry! How can they do that?! The eldest sil even kept a log book of ‘expenses’ she claims she incurred while caring for her dying mum. She has lodged that with the lawyers and will be reimbursed from the estate, if there’s anything left by the time the other sil finalises things. Eldest sil volunteered to do the bulk of the card at this time. Made mil move interstate for cancer treatment cos it’s the best in Aus in Qld. Then when mil returned home to die, that sil followed and pushed everyone else out of the way to care, she was on paid leave from her job to do it. And I know very well my mil paid her way in everything. Grrrrr, still so angry!!!

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