This is a tough situation and surprising in that it’s not even a super common name. It would be hard for sil but unfortunately whatever the name was someone is going to use it. I wouldn’t be chasing it now either.

I wouldn’t change the name. Very sad memories for the sister in law, but bubs been alive for 4 months, something needed to be said earlier

This is sad but not your fault and I would not change the name. She, or her husband, could have told you as soon as she was born. Expecting this is too much.

There is no need to change the name; a hard no.

Reality is that you can’t avoid a baby’s name being used and you will hear that name more often.
It has been 7 years since her lost her child, it may be good for her to seek some counseling

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 05 Jun 2024 , 7:48 am

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  It’s good that your brother understands why yoiu said no and supports the decision. Maybe he should have a chat with his wife and support her to get help

I don’t know. Very conflicting situation to be in.

Whilst I feel for SIL, I personally wouldn’t change the name, especially after her waiting that long to say something. Even then though as heartbreaking as it may be to her she shouldn’t expect that of someone.

I can actually understand why the SIL might have waited a while to bring this up – she probably was trying to be considerate of the parents’ feelings. But that said, I do think she waited too long and it’s not a fair request now.

Another story that should be printed on toilet paper because it is a 2 part name where because people will call her” what” because that’s what they will say after she says her name .
She says ember they say what.
Get a real name.
Or just call her ember what

It’s sad for the SIL, but almost 5 months is a hectic amount of time to pass to ask for something as significant as changing their daughters name. By that time the name is who that baby is, who the parents see her as. All the silly and sweet nicknames that go with the name. Then to think she’s followed up by asking again. If I u were OP I would have my brother, SILs husband, tell her to back down.

There is no way I would change her name.
Its horrible that your sister in law had to deal with a stillborn but as harsh as it is these things happen and it does not mean that she has ownership of the name. If it was 2 months later then sure thats a little much but the fact that you had no idea and its all these years later. Im sorry but she will just have to stay away if its too painful for her to hear the name.

This is a very awkward and horrible family situation to be in but i am leaning towards the mum as she had no idea about her sister in laws still birth and i think it is really wrong of the sister in law to be so cruel towards her about it and make her feel the way she is.