Great decision to stop the toillet training Sianne ! It’s a pity that people can be so quick to judge and be so opinionated, it can be hard to close your ears for that. I remember my son was 4 and still poohed and peed in his nappy. To be honest I can’t remember how old he was when he managed to do it on the toillet. I do remember it took him quite long to stay dry overnight. We didn’t put him in nappies, just let him wet the bed. Think he was 8 when he was free from accidents in the night.

My youngest son was the same in the end I just gave up. when he went to preschool he was one of the oldest in nappies within one week he was out of day time nappies and was great it only took another six months for him to be out of night time nappies. so yes your child has to be ready some are some are not but they will get their in the end. well done mum.

I am so relieved after reading this. I have a 2.5 years old daughter and so far I am not successful with toilet training her. Sometimes I was blaming myself and other times was worried if my DD had something wrong. So, thank you for sharing your letter.

Sianne I understand what you went through, my eldest didn\’t use the toilet until he was 3 yrs 6 months & when he did he would always sit on the toilet (even for #1\’s) & did so until he was 5. My hubby would show him how to pee standing up & we used a ping pong ball in the toilet to entice him to aim while standing, but nothing worked.So I got judgement & advice on firstly toilet training him & then getting him to stand up to pee. Boys are competitive & when my 2nd son came along he pretty much toilet trained himself at 2 yrs, standing up, which is when my eldest decided to stand up!! So don\’t worry, it\’s not you or your son. My over achieving sister in law was proud of the fact that she toilet trained her son at 18months old!! Only problem was that he was still wearing nappies to bed until he went to school!! So they will all do it when they are ready, cheers Vicki

The hardest thing is for you to let the child do his own thing. Once you let go, the child seems to make up his/her mind quite quickly and just do it – it’s almost like a tug of wills before that. My grandchild just refused to wipe his bottom, and my daughter was beside herself as he was going to school in a week or so. But once there it just wasn’t a problem for him, he just didn’t like wiping his bottom so it was easier for him to get someone else to do it while ever he could!
And mums, do be prepared for late bed-wetting [around 10 to 13]. If something traumatic happens, changing schools, losing a best friend, something you don’t know about but that is hurting your child, then this can sometimes happen. Not always, but be prepared!

Yep! Kids have their own clock and no two kids are the same. The sooner we can all accept that the better

Thanks for sharing! My Almost 3.5yr old girl is toilet trained (not nights) for wee’s, but for the life of me I can not get her to poo on the toilet. She just says “When I’m bigger mummy”. I wish she would, but I try not to push the subject & do hope that one day soon she will just do it!

It seems a lot of little ones show readiness, all goes well, then suddenly they refuse. Back in nappies until they show interest again. One of ours never liked the potty so went on the toilet with a special seat on it. He had a step so he could climb up onto the toilet seat. He is now tall enough that it has been moved to the bathroom until he manages to reach the tap.

Our 1st started training at 21/2 and then stopped and just refused, he became what they call training resistant, so we said to him, I know you can do it and you tell us when your ready, then never mentioned it again (gave him the power) it was a few weeks but he decided and was trained within 2weeks including nights after daddy told him he could go “commando” in his PJ’s he just did it, there were a few night time accidents but none during the day, our 2nd son is almost 3 and not interested in training and I’m not concerned, I know when he’s ready he’ll do it, I really believe that kids will do it when they’re ready and no “technic” we try will change that

Love to hear I’m not alone my son was 3yrs & 3 months old before we cracked it but I didn’t get the judging as much from others although I did judge myself a lot comparing my child’s progress to others , we are our own worst enemies, so glad our boys have cracked daytime & are pleased with themselves x

Your child is completely normal! I don’t know when society decided that babies need to grow up faster than their bodies are ready, but pressuring kids under three to use the toilet is absurd. I know so many people who decide to toilet train at the very first sign of toilet-awareness, not realising that it is the first step in a long line of steps. They then get frustrated because their kid is having accidents, the kid picks up on it and gets panicky or anxious about using the toilet and it escalates from there. Just because your child is a certain age or can tell you when they need to poop or doesn’t like the feeling of a wet nappy doesn’t mean that they are ready to make the leap to toilet training. Let them be kids, they will get there when they are ready.

Thank you for sharing your story. This hits home right now. My 3 year old isn’t toilet trained. I have tried quite a few time but she is not ready

I agree that letting them decide when they are ready can make the process easier. We are at the opposite end of the scale with ours wanting to start very young. My now 23 month old wants to use the toilet so every morning we pop him on and have done so for the past couple if months. He is yet to ‘do’ anything in the toilet but we’ll keep letting him have a go.

Children should always be allowed to develop in their own time. They will be quick at some things and slower at others. What does it matter so long as they get there in the end.

Good for you in letting your son take his time. Its difficult being a parent without out others criticising you.

There is a lot of pressure surrounding toilet training – and it simply doesn’t help. Mine was nearly 3 when toilet trained, and older when dry through the nights. I stood my ground when other mums made “suggestions”. I knew what worked for us.

I understand completely the frustration!! My daughter was completely toilet trained when she was 3 years and 7 months old. I had tried different times earlier but she just wasn’t ready. We had also a big move to another country and the doctor advised us to wait to be settled in the new place before trying again, not to add stress. Then it finally happened. The “good thing” of all this is that, at that age, when finally day trained, I asked her if she wanted to try one night without diaper. She said yes. Well, she never had an accident in bed, in her all life. That surely saved a lot of washing. 🙂

So true, I have four beautiful children and love every stage of their development but I absolutely hate/dread/failed toilet training. It doesn’t help when everyone has an opinion and constantly states that they should be toilet trained but all kids are different. I’m happy to report that 3 are fully using the toilet and one to go. His only 9 months so thankfully I still have some time before anxiety kicks in!