Hello!

My 17 month old is about to have his first surgery. It’s quick, low risk and should be successful but I know when the time comes I’ll be a mess. It’s just him and I, so I’m looking for any advice on how to manage walking away and coping while he’s in surgery and away from me.


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  • It is really really hard no matter what you do. An important thing is to keep reminding yourself that it’s really routine (sounds like it is) and the doctors do it all the time. If you can, have a friend or two lined up who you can call for a chat to distract you.


  • I remember my sons first operation, he was around 2. It wasn’t easy but kids are so resilient, his recovery was amazing


  • Do ypu have a friend or relative who could come with you? Or is there someone you can call/message while he’s in surgery? If not try and find something to keep yourself distracted as much as possible. Honestly it probably won’t be easy and you will worry the whole time regardless but it’s obviously necessary and you will both get through it ok.


  • I went through this with my son, although he also has his Dad it was during COVID so only one parent was allowed in the hospital. It was not easy but just be reassuring and not let them know you are anxious. I purchased my son a toy (a meerkat from the Childrens Hospital in Melbourne) and it was a special toy that was there when he woke up. It is actually his favourite toy still now, even though it was associated in a traumatic moment in his life. (as he now has lifelong issues due to what they found after the surgery)


  • This is going to be a very hard time regardless. Try to surround yourself with friends and people who can be supportive. It may also help to talk to a nurse or a doctor and they can reassure you also. The thing that I always rely on above all else when I’m worried is prayer. It does help and if you know others who will pray, it’s encouraging to know they are praying for you too.


  • No real advise but have been there, it’s hard. Sending big love. You will get through it. Take some comforts from home, fav snacks / toys eg.


  • As it’s a quick surgery I wouldn’t recommend leaving the family room, as a phone will ring from the nurses for you to answer when your son is ready for some cuddles in recovery.


  • The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your child will be.


  • Maybe take someone with you so you can chat over a coffee while waiting and be distracted a little.


  • Yes it can be hard seeing your kids through this, but keep in mind it’s for the best and that she/he is in the hands of capable professionals


  • It’s always hard seeing your kids go through these times but you just have to trust the surgeons! Take a walk and have a coffee at a nearby Cafe or restaurant


  • We had quite some surgeries for my youngest and I like to leave the hospital during the procedure to go for a walk or a coffee or sit with a book in the sun. You get notified by phone by the hospital when he’s coming out of recovery, so you can be there back in time.


  • We were given a special teddy to look after during the surgery and then it was given to our child. It did help to have a toy to cuddle while waiting.


  • This is so hard, stay with him as long as you can but try not to show any anxiety or he will feel it. Best of luck to you x


  • My son had an op at a young age. I struggled too, it was awful. But I was able to hold him and cuddle him until they sedated him, which made things a little easier for me


  • Hospitals should have support people and maybe check in with them about support people during this time.


  • I know how hard it is. My bub was 8 months old when he had a very routine day surgery but you can’t help but get emotional. You have the option to lay in the bed as he’s being prepped. The nurses will have you pretend to be gassed so he won’t be scared of the mask. Don’t be nervous to ask questions to the team before hand. In the parents waiting room have some water or a coffee, deep breaths, and keep in mind how skilled our medical staff are. He’s in amazing hands. Then you’ll cuddle in the bed with him in recovery as they monitor him. It was only 45 minutes for us, I tried to focus on how getting the surgery is the best option for him, how he won’t remember the pain, and it’s the best decision I could make as his Mum. I would recommend having a loved one you can call while you wait, even if for a few minutes. We were at a private hospital and there was a lovely female volunteer, a retired teacher, who was there supporting families. I imagine a lot of paediatric surgeries will have someone there. You’ve got this, Mumma.


  • Could you speak with the nurses on the ward to see if there is any support people at the hospital that could be by your side at this time and help you with your emotions and helping you step away from him to allow him to go and have the surgery? Perhaps the chaplain or one of the nurses?


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